It’s way too early to bullshit each other, so let’s just all agree that Candice Swanepoel has the perfect body. Because she does. Anybody who disagrees either likes penis or just time traveled here from medieval times. I mean they were living somewhere between the 5th and 15th century, not the dinner theater where you eat twenty yards away from horseshit and a pothead in a knight costume. Jesus Christ, what are you people expecting to see? A dragon? You’re in Myrtle Beach, asshole. It’s Black Bike Week outside, these aren’t real knights. Oh, just shut up and go smile for your framed group entrance photo and eat your $50 chicken leg. Nobody cares.
Note: Sorry. I have no idea where all that just came from. I have so much hate inside of me. So much hate.