Rihanna Is Chill, Bro



Rihanna was in Hawaii this weekend and photographers took her picture smoking a blunt. They say it’s weed, but I really don’t think it is, because she doesn’t seem to have supersonic hearing which would have allowed her to have heard the paparazzi then flee in a panic into the house and close all the blinds and paced around the living room for 30 minutes and wondered if she wore those same leggings yesterday. I bet I did. Everybody is looking at me. I can hear helicopters. I bet the microwave has a hidden camera in it. I just need to sit down and relax. No I need to take a shower. Why did I come in this room again? Spaghetti and corndogs mmm that sounds good together. Why don’t more people eat this? I think the soy sauce pulls it all together, I should write this recipe down before I forget because where’s a pen? Why can’t I find a pen here’s the remote and Ancient Aliens is on and holy shit aliens built everything. They live among us fuck I’m high.

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