Shalinka By jess January 30, 2012



Gill O’Toole upskirt [Taxidriver Movie]
Paula Patton doesn’t understand leggings [The Nip Slip]
Ashlee Simpson supposedly looking great [The Superficial]
If Natalie Portman breastfeeds, is that breaking vegan code? [Popoholic]
Christina Aguilera proves she’s not pregnant, just fat [Celebitchy]
Jennifer Lopez in a swimsuit [The Blemish]
Not that you’ll look there, but can someone explain Chanelle Hayes‘ eyebrows to me? [Zoo Today]
Brittany Ireland is stacked [Coed Magazine]
Olivia Wilde went braless [Cityrag]
My doppelganger was abducted by aliens [Dlisted]
Elton John still hates Madonna [I'm Not Obsessed]
Candice Swanepoel is in a bikini or five [Moe Jackson]
Lindsay Lohan is brilliant [Popbytes]
Kristen Bell in her undies [Egotastic]
A Teen Mom had a miscarriage [Allie Is Wired]
WANT [The Chive]
Britney Spears may stay under her conservatorship a little longer [Popcrush]
Miley Cyrus is embarrassed [Popcrush]
The Kardashians are topless [A Socialite's Life]
Jennifer Lopez may marry again [Amy Grindhouse]
This sounds dangerous [Tabloid Prodigy]
Rooney Mara retrospective [Huffington Post]
Rihanna in leather [Hollywood Tuna]
Rumer Willis is an awesome daughter [Celebuzz]
Sofia Vergara dressed down [Celebslam]
The Muppets owned Fox News [Evil Beet]

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Gill O’Toole upskirt [Taxidriver Movie] Paula Patton doesn’t understand leggings [The Nip Slip] Ashlee Simpson supposedly looking great [The Superficial] If Natalie Portman breastfeeds, is that breaking vegan code? [Popoholic]…

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Jennifer Love Hewitt Shops For Sex Toys By Herself Now By todd January 30, 2012



Of course she does. Of course. Page Six reports:

Jennifer Love Hewitt was spotted shopping for toys at the Hustler store the other night on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles. Hewitt was solo and, according to our spy, “had a few pairs of thongs in her hand and was perusing the ‘toys’ section before making a purchase.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt once wrote a book to give women dating advice, but she can’t go five minutes without being in a relationship that predictably ends with the dude ditching her needy ass because she carries three engagements rings around and is mostly crazy and will cut herself if you don’t text her fifty times a day. Somebody with tits that big shouldn’t have these kind of problems, so something is seriously fucked up here. Maybe she’ll work it out when ever she figures out how to get a dildo to talk to her.

Of course she does. Of course. Page Six reports: Jennifer Love Hewitt was spotted shopping for toys at the Hustler store the other night on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles….

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Drake Wants To Play Obama In A Movie By todd January 30, 2012



“Obama doesn’t have gills, so I’m tryin’ to get that worked in ya heard?”

Drake, a Canadian and rapper whose only street cred in being shot by a classmate at Degrassi High, wants to play Barack Obama in a movie. Because he “wants to do something for his culture”. Rich Canadians are crying out for a Obama movie? I don’t know. Also, he’s Canadian did I mention that? New York Post reports:
“I hope somebody makes a movie about Obama’s life soon because I could play him. That’s the goal,” the rapper told VH1 News at the Sundance Film Festival earlier this week…“I watch all the addresses,” he says. “Any time I see him on TV, I don’t change the channel. I definitely pay attention and listen to the inflections of his voice. If you ask anyone who knows me, I’m pretty good at impressions.”…”I’ve been reading scripts for awhile,” he said. “I want to do something great. I want to do something for my culture: The younger people who are still in tune with everything going on. I’m actually writing with my friends right now.”

I’m sure Drake is serious when he says he’s pretty good at impressions, because he does a pretty good job of impersonating a rapper because I assume it’s hard to rap about your Bar Mitzvah and growing up in Toronto’s wealthiest neighborhood with your mommy. Also, why are his eyes so far apart? His private pool didn’t have a lifeguard when he was a kid? Actually, Drake having Downs makes more and more sense when you think about it. Nice Britney eyes, jackass.

“Obama doesn’t have gills, so I’m tryin’ to get that worked in ya heard?” Drake, a Canadian and rapper whose only street cred in being shot by a classmate at…

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Sophie Turner Has A Nice Twitter Account By todd January 29, 2012



Ever since our passionate love died, Sophie Turner and I have been communicating through lawyers and heated texts that I hope she knows that are admissible in court, but I still love her ass enough to follow her on Twitter. Where she posted these. As you can see, doggystyle was a point of contention in our imaginary sexual relationship that I made up in my head. Turns out it was a problem for me. I’m sorry, Sophie! It happens to a lot of guys, okay?! You can’t give me like 15 minutes after all I’ve done for you?! I would also like some Gatorade if we have any, please.

Ever since our passionate love died, Sophie Turner and I have been communicating through lawyers and heated texts that I hope she knows that are admissible in court, but I…

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R.I.P. Todd Lynn By jess January 27, 2012

Here’s some perfectly accurate dating advice from Todd Lynn. Todd Lynn is dead. Carlos Mencia is not. Anyone else think that’s unfair?

Katie Price upskirt [Taxidriver Movie]
Rihanna is see-through [The Nip Slip]
Tila Tequila still exists [The Superficial]
Pros picks for Rashad Evans vs. Phil Davis [Sherdog]
Hilary Duff is still pregnant [Popoholic]
Kim Kardashian got Tebowed [Celebitchy]
James Franco is Hugh Hefner [The Blemish]
Ass men, rejoice [Zoo Today]
Lily Donaldson is 25 [Coed Magazine]
Shit Samuel L. Jackson says [Cityrag]
Beyonce will have a monument [Dlisted]
Jude Law has a new piece [I'm Not Obsessed]
Katherine Heigl is terrible and so is her accent [Moe Jackson]
Gerard Butler is smart, not sleeping on the couch [Popbytes]
Rocio Gancedo (more…)

Here’s some perfectly accurate dating advice from Todd Lynn. Todd Lynn is dead. Carlos Mencia is not. Anyone else think that’s unfair? Katie Price upskirt [Taxidriver Movie] Rihanna is see-through…

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Here’s Demi Moore’s 911 Call By todd January 27, 2012



If you take every drug in front of you and seizure out on the floor, please make sure whoever calls 911 for you is able to repeat your address for the first five minutes of the call and is really able to say it phonetically and really slowly because Los Angeles dispatchers like to talk over you and are kinda dumb. They also might be Caesar Milan.
TMZ
reports:

TMZ has obtained the 911 call placed moments before Demi Moore was rushed to an L.A. hospital Monday night — where she was treated for inhaling too much nitrous oxide … aka whip-its. As we first reported, any references to Demi’s drug use have been redacted from the 911 call – despite the TMZ story … paramedics on scene were told by Demi’s friends the actress had been doing whip-its. After she was rushed to the hospital, Demi was placed in a facility for substance abuse treatment.

You can LISTEN TO IT HERE, but long story short, Demi Moore smoked sativa , did whip-its, convulsed, then her friends poured cold water on her and killed her buzz. What jackasses!

There’s not a minute to spare:

If you take every drug in front of you and seizure out on the floor, please make sure whoever calls 911 for you is able to repeat your address for…

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Adriana Lima Is In A Bikini By todd January 27, 2012

[Gallery not found]

Adriana Lima is in St. Barts shooting for Victoria’s Secret, and it might be hard to tell, but in 2009 she had a kid. She hasn’t had once since. Is her husband gay? It seems like she should have a lot more than that.

Adriana Lima is in St. Barts shooting for Victoria’s Secret, and it might be hard to tell, but in 2009 she had a kid. She hasn’t had once since. Is…

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Lady Gaga’s Boyfriend Hates Her By jess January 27, 2012



Through black magic or roofies or what have you, Lady Gaga somehow managed to land Taylor Kinney. turns out that may not last too long. In Touch reports:

Lady Gaga‘s boyfriend of six months, Taylor Kinney, has told her to check her alter ego at the door when she’s with him. “Gaga started living and breathing her character 24/7 because she felt her fans wanted that,” dishes a source to In Touch. Too bad Tyler, 30, didn’t. While he held his tongue at first, he’s now comfortable enough with Gaga, 25, to make it clear he has no desire to live with a stage act. “Taylor has convinced her that he loves the real Stefani,” says an insider to In Touch. Luckily for him, the singer promised to be “more human” — after all, she wasn’t born that way!

Wait, so you mean an allegedly bullied, egg dwelling, pandering woman from New York City with an inexplicable British accent and penchant for stealing chord progressions from Madonna tracks wasn’t being herself? Far be it from me to defend Lady Gaga for anything, but this dude knew what he was in for from the get go considering they met on the set of her shitty videos. The only thing he should ask that she change is her face. And even then, he can always just be a gentleman and grab the paper bag himself.

Through black magic or roofies or what have you, Lady Gaga somehow managed to land Taylor Kinney. turns out that may not last too long. In Touch reports: Lady Gaga‘s…

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Demi Moore Loves Adderall By jess January 27, 2012



And Red Bull. But not carbs. Radar Online reports:

Demi Moore will be seeking treatment for anorexia and her substance abuse addictions, and RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that Adderall is the prescription drugs that she uses. “Demi has been taking Adderall and drinking energy drinks and starving herself and those are some of the serious causes that led her to collapse on Monday night,” a source close to the actress said. As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Demi had an epileptic seizure before being rushed to the hospital and she is currently seeking treatment for anorexia. “The pills and starvation destroyed Demi and this has been a problem for about a year,” the source said about her tragic situation. “She’s constantly jacked up on Adderall and combining that with not eating accounts for her loopy behavior and anorexic body frame. She literally refuses to eat any food.”

On the bright side, Demi Moore upgraded her drugs (and probably her self-perception) from that of a high school freshman to that of a college one. Give her some more time and she might even realize she can rent a car without a cosigner and buy kegs for rush week!

And Red Bull. But not carbs. Radar Online reports: Demi Moore will be seeking treatment for anorexia and her substance abuse addictions, and RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that Adderall is…

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Sup, Kate? Again. By todd January 26, 2012

[Gallery not found]

Once again, here’s Kate Beckinsale promoting MILFWorld: The Awakening this time at the Berlin premiere. Goddamn, she’s hot. She’s hot right? I mean, I think we’re all secure with ourselves enough to say that, right? C’mon, ladies. Say it. Kate Beckinsale is hot. No, don’t be like that. Just say it…you can do it…say it with me…there you go. That wasn’t so bad was it? Now don’t you feel better? Awww, that’s okay. You know daddy’s here to help don’t you, baby?

Ladies, some advice from Kate (please read carefully):

“I’m the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can’t be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in. I’d rather he didn’t order in the sex.”

“I don’t like to walk around wearing no make-up with my hair rolled on top of my head on my days off. I think my husband would be a bit bummed out if I did. It’s nice to feel like you’re wooing the other person a bit, as once it degenerates into wearing yesterday’s sweatpants and farting on the sofa, you lose a bit of the spice. You’ve got to keep up the seduction phase – it’s fun.”

Once again, here’s Kate Beckinsale promoting MILFWorld: The Awakening this time at the Berlin premiere. Goddamn, she’s hot. She’s hot right? I mean, I think we’re all secure with ourselves…

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