If you’ve read this site for a while, you know I do not care for Katherine Heigl. And I’m saying that as politely as possible. Why do I not care for her? Well, I’m glad you asked. After she was the third choice to play the lead in the highly successful, Knocked Up (the movie that gave her a career outside television), instead of being thankful and grateful, she immediately shit on it to anyone who would listen saying the film was sexist and offensive to women. In 2008, when she wasn’t nominated for an Emmy for Grey’s Anatomy, she threw the writers under the bus and said she “did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination”. She was summarily fired and has recently begged to get back on. Then there was the time she called out an announcer when she was presenting at the Emmys because he mispronounced her name. Because everybody should know how to pronounce “Heigl” (btw, what are you a Nazi?). Anyway, yesterday in an article she wrote for iVillage, Heigl has aimed her cunt gun at Dance Moms because she doesn’t want the Asian kid she adopted because her vagina is too pure and pristine to ever condescend to think about childbirth to live in a world where children are in pageants.
I’m not much of a reality TV watcher. I tend to stick mostly to the comedies and dramas that I love, but I recently happened to catch an episode of Dance Moms and watched with open-mouthed amazement as girls as young as seven were encouraged to dress provocatively and shimmy around a stage doing a dance performance that could just as easily been a burlesque routine. I kept thinking all these girls were missing is a pole! I was also horrified by the way their instructor spoke to them when she felt they weren’t up to snuff. It was demeaning, belittling, and downright unkind. I pray that I reach my daughter and am able to guide and support her growth as a woman and hope with all my heart shows like this don’t get to her first.. It is a true challenge we parents have ahead of us and the stakes are very high. We will have to perpetually battle and kick against the values mass media prioritize and emphasize those that truly matter. We will have to find a way to convince our children that what they see in the world around them is not always right and true even when it’s far more prevalent than what we tell them is right and true. We will have to hope, pray, and beg them to trust us and commit every moment to earning their trust so that we can ensure their emotional, spiritual, and physical well being and self-worth.
As you read this sanctimonious, holier than thou bullshit, let’s all take a trip back to 1994 where a 14-year old Katherine Heigl starred in My Father The Hero. A movie where she walked around IN A FUCKING THONG THE WHOLE TIME. But let’s just ignore that hypocrisy because Heigl has a high horse to ride. Mostly about her being a better parent than you. I realize she thinks that she’s one of those strong, empowered women who just “tells it like it is, gurlfren’”, but that’s the problem. You don’t tell it like it is. You tell it like YOU think it is. Sometimes it’s better to shut the fuck up and not worry about how other people live their lives. Nobody cares what you have to say. Especially my father. He never loved me that’s why I sabotage my relationships and turn away anyone who loves me. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR KATHERINE?! IS IT?!
P.S. Stop being a cunt.
Laura Prepon kissed a girl and got paid for it [Taxidriver Movie]
Gina Carano does GQ [The Nip Slip]
Reese Witherspoon destroys Justin Bieber [The Superficial]
Ashley Tisdale dressed as a lifeguard [Popoholic]
Lily Collins loves her eyebrows, is alone in sentiment [Celebitchy]
Rooney Mara replaced Blake Lively [The Blemish]
Charlotte Herbert has nice hair, not that you’ll look at it [Zoo Today]
Lais De Leon is painted [Coed Magazine]
Lindsay Lohan is predictable [Dlisted]
Elton John still hates Madonna [I'm Not Obsessed]
Candice Swanepoel is in a bikini or five [Moe Jackson]
Kim Kardashian is starting a Bible study group [Popbytes]
Keira Knightley spanked, topless [Egotastic]
Miley Cyrus broke her tailbone [Allie Is Wired]
Amazing. [The Chive]
Justin Bieber will host ‘SNL’ [Popcrush]
England to be stuck with Lady Gaga [Popcrush]
Kristen Bell loves sloths [A Socialite's Life]
Kristen Stewart has a really tough life [Amy Grindhouse]
Neither time nor cocaine were good to Nick Carter [Tabloid Prodigy]
Heidi Klum speaks out on divorce [Huffington Post]
Lucy Pinder doing the usual [Hollywood Tuna]
Ashley Greene wants to move past Twilight [Celebuzz]
Miranda Kerr fully clothed, still gorgeous [Celebslam]
Courtney Stodden is profound [Evil Beet]
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“You hear me, Hitler? I’ve made a list. I’ve checked it twice. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t let the Jews go, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. Then I will kill some wolves.”
Effectively bitch slapping Justin Timberlake, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Bradley Cooper, Jake Gyllenhaal, and any other gaywad you can think of right in their effeminate face, director of
LIAM NEESON KICKS WOLF ASSThe Grey, Joe Carhahan, says Liam Neeson is still a viable action star because every young male actor in Hollywood is a preening little ladboy who still play with dolls. Film News UK reports:
“I don’t think it’s crazy when you have a town now that has put so much premium on boys instead of men. And has put so many shirtless 17-year-olds in front of the camera and tried to pass off as a masculine form,” he explained in an interview with Collider. “I have nothing against the younger generations, but I feel when I look in their eyes, I don’t see sh*t, man. I don’t see a life lived, I don’t see experience, I don’t see dirt under the nails, I don’t see loss, tragedy, you name it. “The reason that a guy like Liam, who’s nearly 60 years old who is having this resurgent kind of career swing is because we are sorely lacking in his ilk in this business right now.”
Honestly. You can’t get much more badass than Liam Neeson in Taken where he throat chopped his way to his kidnapped daughter. But if Robert Pattinson had starred in Taken at least we would have been able to see how effective a smolder and tears were against the Albanian mafia. Pretty damn effective I bet. Ladies?
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It’s way too early to bullshit each other, so let’s just all agree that Candice Swanepoel has the perfect body. Because she does. Anybody who disagrees either likes penis or just time traveled here from medieval times. I mean they were living somewhere between the 5th and 15th century, not the dinner theater where you eat twenty yards away from horseshit and a pothead in a knight costume. Jesus Christ, what are you people expecting to see? A dragon? You’re in Myrtle Beach, asshole. It’s Black Bike Week outside, these aren’t real knights. Oh, just shut up and go smile for your framed group entrance photo and eat your $50 chicken leg. Nobody cares.
Note: Sorry. I have no idea where all that just came from. I have so much hate inside of me. So much hate.
Ashton Kutcher thinks that blocking individual journalists’ Twitter accounts will keep them out of his business. Radar Online says:
Ashton Kutcher is one of the most followed celebrities on Twitter, but RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned there are certain people the Two and a Half Men actor is now blocking from his account — journalists. On Monday morning RadarOnline.com’s Executive Vice President and Editor in Chief at Star magazine David Perel and the Senior Executive Editor of both Radar and Star Dylan Howard were blocked from seeing Kutcher’s tweets, along with numerous other entertainment journalists in the industry, despite being one of his 9.3 million long-time followers. “@aplusk is awfully sensitive these days…blocking entertainment journalists on Twitter and using a lawyer on the Demi situation,” Perel tweeted from his @IMPerel account. “Sure @aplusk has banned @dylanshoward and me from following him, but we always had a lot more fun with Charlie anyway! #winning.” Perel is referring to L. Stanton Stein, the new attorney Kutcher has hired to make sure the situation between himself and his estranged wife Demi Moore — who was taken to the hospital a week ago because she was taking Adderall and had a seizure and suffers from anorexia — doesn’t reflect poorly on him. It was of course Star magazine who exclusively broke the details of Kutcher and Moore’s impending $290 million divorce, a full nine weeks before the actress announced they were separating. Star was also the magazine that splashed exclusive photos of the Punk’d star partying with a gaggle of blonde girls in the San Diego hotel penthouse, where he reportedly slept with 23-year-old Sara Leal on his sixth wedding anniversary with Moore, across their cover in October. “Just found out @aplusk has blocked @IMPerel and I from following him on Twitter. Now waiting for Kutcher state-run showbiz news service,” Howard quipped on Twitter. “Out of 9,355,302 followers, @IMPerel and I didn’t make the cut. What’s with that @aplusk?! Come on… I loved Dude, Where’s My Car?”
Out of 9+ million Twitter followers, Ashton Kutcher blocked a handful of entertainment journalists. That’ll work really well. Just the way Ashton not personally calling the tabloids after banging 22-year-old skanks worked out for him. Good lookin’ out bro!
Rihanna is such a consummate professional that she held up Grammy rehearsals to hang out with Chris Brown in her dressing room. For five hours. Rumor Fix reports:
Almost three years to the day after Chris Brown was accused of assaulting Rihanna, RumorFix has learned that the former couple spent five hours together in her dressing room on Monday. Sources tell RumorFix that the Barbadian beauty held up rehearsals for the Grammys on the Sony lot in Los Angeles, while she was behind doors with her ex. Chris and Rihanna have been spending a lot of time together lately — including a Superbowl Party at the Greystone Manor in West Hollywood — but Chris’ girlfriend, Karrueche Tran, has always been in tow. We are told that Karrueche was no where to be found on Monday, but Chris was with a male friend when he left Rihanna’s dressing room. And the pop stars will probably be spending even more time together, because both Chris and Rihanna will be performing at the Grammys — although not together.
Rihanna delayed run-throughs for an awards show that, based on talent, she shouldn’t even be allowed to clean floors at. To hang out with the guy who did this to her. To her credit, that’s only the second dumbest thing she’s done in a few weeks.
Holly Peers and Rhian Sugden did an interactive shoot for Nuts. I don’t know what that means, but I’m sick of reading about the SAG Awards, so enjoy. As far as I can tell, she won’t be eligible for one just yet anyway.
Because stretched out denim and body hair removal is sexy, here’s the three whores of the apocalypse posing naked to whore out their new denim line. The jeans, of course, are from the Kardashian Kollection. The clothing line made by Chinese kids hooked up to a car battery in case they forget just who in the fuck they’re working for. Kris Jenner pays them in marbles and dog treats, she can’t just give this shit away you know. I heard that if a worker doesn’t place a portrait of Kris Jenner in a prominent place above their work area that she saws off their feet and feeds them to Khloe. Then Khloe bathes in their blood and wrestles an alligator to strike fear into their hearts. I may have just made that last part up because of my seething hatred toward the whole family, but ask yourself friends, does anyone know for sure? Do they really know?
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Here’s Candice Swanepoel in St. Barts shooting for Victoria’s Secret, and if I can be completely honest for a minute with the Duggar family. I totally get it now.
This should end well. Hollywood Life reports:
We have been told Katy is completely “devastated” and that she was happy to go on tour to Indonesia to “get away from the drama.” Thankfully, she has her BFFs, including Rihanna, to keep her occupied. “Katy’s friends are doing everything they can to help keep her happy and just be there to listen to her,” our source told us. “Rihanna has been unbelievable and checks up on her every day and even invited her on a trip. Katy even asked Rihanna to meet her in Vegas and be there with her.”
Asking Rihanna for dating advice would be on par with hiring Paula Deen as your nutritionist, but maybe Katy sees something we don’t. When she’s not fucking the guy who beat her until her eyes were swollen shut, Rihanna probably has great perspectives on ending relationships with strength and dignity. Somehow if she told me “time heals all wounds,” I’d believe her. But I think docs had a hand in fixing her fat lip, too.