Russell Brand Filed For Divorce Because Katy Perry Is Scared Of God

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And people wonder why the entire world is slowly realizing that organized religion is stupid. TMZ reports:

Katy Perry WANTED Russell Brand to file the court papers in their divorce … because she didn’t want to upset her religious parents … sources connected to the former couple tell TMZ. We’re told … Katy and Russell knew the relationship was on the rocks a couple of months ago — but didn’t want to give up on the marriage without making a concerted effort to work things out. But the effort fell flat … with both sides feeling “it just wasn’t there.” We’re told both Katy and Russell were on board with the divorce a few weeks ago — but they didn’t want to be in town when the papers were filed … so he went back to England and she booked it to Hawaii. Since Katy’s parents are evangelical Christians, we’re told she didn’t want to be the one to “officially” end the marriage by filing the docs … since she was raised to believe divorce is wrong.

Sorry, maybe it’s because I haven’t had enough coffee yet, so I’m having a hard time catching up. But just to be clear in what they’re saying here, God is cool with you abandoning your career as a Christian singer to sell your soul for fame and fortune by jacking up your tits and singing about being a lesbian and writing songs with thinly-veiled lyrics about giving blowjobs to boost California’s tourism industry, but he’ll strike you dead if you even think about divorcing a sex addict who’s done enough heroin to kill a dragon? Wow. This God guy seems a little bipolar. Either that, or the people who follow him have no fucking idea what he’s telling them. Look, if you want to say you’re a Christian, then be a Christian. I’m all for it. But when you make it into a buffet lifestyle where you get to pick and choose which side dish of rules goes best with your hypocrisy and sanctimony to serve your own selfish needs, then you’re not fooling anybody, sweetie. Nice tits, though.

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