Lady Gaga Doesn’t Believe In Dermatology, Dating

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Happy World AIDS Day. The New York Daily News says:

There is very little about Lady Gaga that can be safely called conventional, so it comes as no surprise that her beauty routine is anything but. The singer, who has famously donned everything from meat to silicone to feathers, takes unique measures to ensure that her face is flawless as well. “Orgasms, lots of orgasms,” she replied when asked what her beauty secret was – though she later copped to the fact that liquid spinach might also help her complexion. The singer was sipping on a vegetable drink during her interview with British Elle. But while Gaga may have only been half-kidding about her regimen of good sex and healthy eating, something the singer is serious about is her work-life balance. “No, what I really mean is hard work and sweat,” she said of maintaining a healthy figure and flawless face. Besides, the 25-year-old’s busy schedule hardly leaves time for dating, so she has to rely on herself for a little TLC. “I have never felt truly cherished by a lover,” she told Vanity Fair. “I have an inability to know what happiness feels like with a man. “I have this effect on people where it starts out good. Then, when I’m in these relationships with people who are also creative, or creative in their own way, what happens is the attraction is initially there and it’s all unicorns and rainbows. And then they hate me.”

This doesn’t explain why Popeye is still more attractive than Lady Gaga. But if her relationships with men start out with unicorns and rainbows, it explains why people assume she has a dick.

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