Since she was caught living in a tree on The Island of Doctor Moreau as a child and kept in captivity in Calabasas until she was dipped in body hair remover and the estrogen shots took hold, Khloe Kardashian‘s mutated uterus in an unholy abomination cursed by God and studied with wonder by modern science because she has unprotected sex with a black guy with three kids already but she needs eccentric billionaire John Hammond to extract her eggs from prehistoric amber to make a baby. At least I think that’s how In vitro fertilization works. New York Post reports:
“She is desperate for a baby with Lamar and will do whatever it takes,” a source close to the couple tells Us Weekly. The source claims that Kardashian and Odom began consultations in September, and are getting ready for the procedure which costs $10,000 to $15,000 a pop. “They have faith the IVF will work,” the source adds. This would be Kardashian’s first pregnancy. Odom has two children — Destiny, 13, and Lamar Jr., 10 — from a previous relationship with ex-girlfriend Liza Morales. The couple also had a third child who tragically died at seven months. While Khloe has not confirmed that she and her husband are trying IVF, she has been very vocal about her desire to have children since marrying Odom in 2009. “For two years, people have been wanting me to get pregnant,” Khloe said. “People keep saying, ‘Why aren’t you pregnant yet?’ That’s what scares me, when people are like, ‘Did you go to the doctor? Do you know if everything is working?’ It’s nerve-wracking. Sometimes I feel like I’m letting everyone down.”
We don’t even need to talk about how much extra security staff Yellowstone is gonna need to hire when this bitch becomes pregnant (odors attract bears, so avoid carrying or cooking odorous foods), but can we point out the fact that Lamar Odom is 6’10″ and she has extended family on Skull Island? The WBNA is gonna be able to pay this kid in raw meat and bamboo.