Joe Paterno Broke His Hip (because he’s old lol)

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“Some little kids got raped, you say? Watch as I fold my hands and pretend to look concerned.”

Not to tell the universe how to do its job, but I think the wrong person’s pelvis was broken. 254 Sports reports:

Former Penn State coach Joe Paterno was in the hospital Sunday after re-fracturing his pelvis in a fall at his home, a source close to the family told The Associated Press. The person, who requested anonymity because of the sensitivity of the situation, told AP surgery wasn’t required. Paterno initially injured the pelvis after a player accidentally blindsided him in preseason practice. Paterno is also being treated for lung cancer. The person said it was determined he should stay in the hospital to keep his regiment of treatments while recovering from the injury.

It’s interesting this would happen two days before Jerry Sandusky is due in court, but I’m sure he did it accidentally and not to garner any sympathy. He was probably trying to take the batteries out the remote to save on his power bill or heating up applesauce or whatever the fuck it is old people do.

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