Sophie Turner Brings Enjoyment To Twitter

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Although it was a prison colony filled with kangaroos and Aborigines, Australia has produced some pretty cool stuff. Namely, my imaginary ex-girlfriend Sophie Turner and her damn near perfect body. I say “damn near” perfect, because all the dating seminars and DVDs I have say you should make a woman feel insecure so she’ll want to have sex with you. My instructor said I’ll get the hang of it once I can go into a bar and not run and hide when a woman talks to me. He says to just focus on my breathing. Awww yeah, Sophie! You hear that?! Won’t be long now!

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