This is what my grandfather used to call “stuck on stupid”. TMZ reports:
Michael Lohan was just arrested AGAIN in Florida after allegedly contacting his GF Kate Major — and law enforcement tells TMZ, he tried to escape by jumping a 3rd-story balcony … and accidentally fell into a tree. According to law enforcement sources, Tampa police responded to a call early this morning from Kate, who claimed Michael had been trying to contact her by phone and wouldn’t leave her alone. We’re told officers interviewed Kate at her apartment after she made the call — the same apartment where Michael allegedly bruised her up earlier this week — and while they were there, Michael allegedly called again. According to law enforcement, officers believed Michael was a “threat” — so they rolled up to his hotel to arrest him. But here’s the crazy part — law enforcement tells TMZ, Michael tried to escape by hopping his 3rd story balcony … and he ended up falling into a tree. After officers pulled him down, Michael was placed under arrest for violating a condition of his pretrial release (presumably for contacting Kate) … and resisting arrest without violence. Michael is currently back in custody — at the same jail he was released from less than twelve hours ago.
5:30 AM — Michael is currently in the hospital getting a possible foot injury checked out.
6:08 AM — Kate Major has released a statement to TMZ … saying, “I am sick of being lied about by Michael Lohan Sr.’s false allegations about his continual physical and mental abuse toward me.”
“Obviously the judge was correct when questioning if he could ‘read.’”
She adds, “He has no regard for the justice system. He can beat up women but Mr. tough guy who slurred his words calling me 5 times after getting out of jail wasn’t too tough by jumping off a 3rd floor balcony into a tree to try to flee from going back to the same jail he just got released from less than 12 hours ago”
“Maybe they have phonics books in jail!”
At this point, if my name was Todd Lohan, I’d visit my nearest courthouse to see if I could change it to “Todd Van Der Sloot” or “Todd Chris Brown Childrapistserialkiller”. You know, just so I wouldn’t have to live with that shame.