Lindsay Lohan Is Serious Now, You Guys

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After completely blowing off anything and everything she possibly could dealing with community service and therapy sessions for the past five months, Lindsay Lohan is now “super serious” about completing the terms of her probation. This wouldn’t have anything to do with her progress hearing being on Wednesday and the threat of going to jail for a year and a half would it? Oh, my heavens no. Why would you ask such a thing? TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan could be sentenced to nearly a year-and-a-half in jail if Judge Stephanie Sautner decides she violated her probation … TMZ has learned. We’re told the computations are complicated, because Lindsay has had so many cases. But based on the 120 day suspended sentence for shoplifting, time served under house arrest, and her prior DUIs, Lindsay could be thrown in jail for a long, long time. We’ve learned Lindsay MUST be in court Wednesday to face the judge … and the judge has lots of questions, including why Lindsay was a no-show 9 times at the Downtown Women’s Center, where she was performing her community service. And the judge will almost certainly want to know why Lindsay didn’t comply with the order to spend a minimum of 4 hours at a time when she showed up at the Women’s Center…The judge will almost certainly ask Lindsay why she didn’t meet with her shrink every Monday for 1 hour, as required by court order. Lindsay claims she did a bunch of therapy sessions by phone.

No, seriously. She’s extremely focused. A source said so. Radar Online reports:

Lindsay Lohan will attempt to prove that she is fulfilling all her probation requirements when she goes before Los Angeles Judge Stephanie Sautner on Wednesday, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting…Lindsay performed community service every single day this past week at the Red Cross, and has been spending the bulk of the weekend fulfilling her therapy and shoplifter’s course requirements. She is extremely focused on her court-ordered obligations,” Lohan’s rep Steve Honig tells RadarOnline.com exclusively…With her court date looming, “Lindsay is really starting to rack up the hours now and is extremely serious about getting this done,” an insider tells us. Lindsay was sentenced to 360 hours of community service at the Downtown Women’s Center, 100 hours at the Los Angeles County Morgue, weekly therapy sessions, and a shoplifting class. Judge Sautner specifically wanted LiLo to experience being around women that had fallen on very rough times, and that is why the Downtown Women’s Center was selected. Sautner could order Lindsay to stop performing that part of the sentence at the Red Cross, and order her to another organization that deals with homelessness…Lindsay was given until May, 2012 to complete all terms ordered by Judge Sautner, and she has stated that she wouldn’t accept any excuses for it not being done on time. “Even if Judge Sautner revokes Lindsay’s probation on Wednesday, and remands her into custody, she will post bail immediately. Lindsay must be given bail because it’s a misdemeanor, and there would be a probation violation hearing, and that is when it would be determined by the judge if she should go to jail. Again, this is only if Sautner determines there appears to be a probation violation,” the source states.

Oh, and in case you didn’t realize this already, Lindsay went on Twitter where she already has a built-in excuse and everybody else to blame.

I am not to be made an example of anymore. I am working hard and fulfilling my obligations every single day, to the court as well as myself. If I travel, its for work and its been approved. As is anything I do when I leave the state. I’d appreciate it if people will just let me do what is asked of me, so that I can get my life back. Please ignore the reports which have no truth to them. Thank you.

Even if Lindsay is taken into custody, she will immediately post bail with all her new hooker money, then we start all this over again. Lindsay could hunt and kill a homeless person inside the courtroom then make a necklace out of his spine and the judge would only sit Lindsay on her knee read her a book about honesty. The book might also have a unicorn in it. A unicorn who always tells the truth. That’s what gives him the power to jump over rainbows.

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