Minka Kelly Is Single



I tried to work in a joke about 3,000 hits, but it’s too early or whatever excuse that means I’m too lazy. People reports:

After dating for three years, Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter have broken up, her rep confirms to PEOPLE.”They care about each other and it was amicable,” says a source. “They’re still friends.”

I wanted to speculate why they broke up, but I’m a little tired because I just had sex with her in my mind. See? I’m doing it right now. Awww yeah, you like that? You like that don’t you, baby? Oh, don’t worry. My mom doesn’t come down here. I’m a grown ass man. I pay rent. That’s right, now just stick your ass up like th..oh, oh, uuhhhhh ooohhh. Sorry about that. Give me like, what? Five minutes?

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