Lady Gaga Should Lay Off The Blow

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Lady Gaga wrote something for V Magazine and if yWHAT THE FUCK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?!

V MAGAZINE GAGA MEMORANDUM No. 2

Date: JULY 2011
Re: I DON’T SPEAK GERMAN BUT I CAN IF YOU LIKE
From: M†SS.GAGA
To: STEPHEN GAN

Art is a lie. And every day I kill to make it true. It is my destiny to exist halfway between reality and fantasy at all times. They call me “theatrical,” but I posit profusely that I am theatre, and that theatre is me. I am a show with no intermission. It is this thing that summons me from the depths of reality and reminds me that the power of transformation is endless. That I (we) possess something magical and transformative inside —  a uniqueness and specialness waiting to be exiled from the depths of our identity. I have said before that I am a master of escapism, which many attribute to my wigs, performances, and my natural inclination to be grand, but perhaps that is also a lie. Maybe I am not escaping. Maybe I am just being. Being myself. The arrival at this revelation revises my previous escapist philosophies, as my entire being, thus far, as wholly artist and wholly human, has been propelled by the idea that I must effortlessly vacillate between two worlds: out of the real and into the surreal. Out of the ordinary, into the extraordinary.

She does realize she’s just some Italian chick with a big nose and Lupus who does rails for breakfast and dresses up in stupid costumes, right? And people still realize Madonna actually lived, right? I mean, she was an actual person. Just because you can rhyme “ga” with “ra” and passed by a Carl Jung book while looking for the latest High Times, doesn’t make you a philosopher. Just keep making music for people who don’t realize good music exists yet and shut the fuck up. You couldn’t sound more like a pretentious cunt if wrote a cookbook with Gwyneth Paltrow.

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