“Please Love Me. I Drink Mineral Water.”

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At 42, Jennifer Aniston should be traveling the world with her husband and kids, but since she’s an ice queen whose vagina isn’t worth any man having to spend five minutes with her, she’s the old lady at the club hating on all the 22-year olds and trying to still be hot until last call when she goes home and cries into her Activia. Jesus, look at her face. After this I get the feeling she went home and picked out doily patterns with her cat, Mr. Pittskers. C’mon, you know that his name.

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