Jess put her dead, frozen vagina in the microwave yesterday to thaw away it’s sadness after she heard New York Jets’ quarterback Mark Sanchez wasn’t dating Hayden Panettiere. That’s because Hayden Panettiere is dating Scotty McKnight. A 7th round draft pick who hasn’t received his first game check. Us Magazine reports:
Just eights days after Hayden Panettiere and Wladmir Klitschko announced the end of their two-year relationship, the 21-year-old Scream 4 actress stepped out in West Hollywood with a new man: New York Jets wide receiver Scotty McKnight. After sharing a meal at Mel’s Diner on May 20, McKnight, 23, lovingly rubbed the actress’ shoulders; the new couple also spent Memorial Day together in Laguna Hills, Calif. with mutual pal Mark Sanchez. “I’m a huge Jets fan and became very good friends with Mark and his buddies,” Panettiere told Us Weekly in NYC June 2. “I’ve always been that girl who has a lot of dude friends. I’m into sports so we have a lot in common.
I hope she’s into psychosis and writing letters threatening to torture and kill an entire family also because that will give them something else in common. New York Post reports:
McKnight, a former Colorado receiver and boyhood friend of Mark Sanchez, nearly got himself expelled during his senior year of high school in 2005 for penning some threatening words directed at his Tesoro (Calif.) High School English teacher in a journal that was supposed to be private, but became public. One of the entries McKnight and Tesoro teammate Sam Smith wrote referred to gluing the teacher naked to a wall, cutting off her feet and killing her family while she watches, according to court documents. “I am planning on coming in your room late one night while you’re still working,” read one partial entry. “I will smother you in gasoline and light your head on fire … “
So basically, if you’re tall and have rage consuming you from within, Hayden Panettiere will blow you. “Is that so? Tell her to Facebook me,” Megatron was quoted as saying.