Every man knows that if you’re gonna cheat you trade up (ex. Brad Pitt), so it’s a little disappointing to see that Arnold Schwarzenegger got this chick, Mildred Patricia Baena, pregnant on purpose. Anyway, this is her. Standing beside her is the result of a quickie in the bathroom while Maria was getting a manicure. And please don’t send me hate mail saying I shouldn’t have called this kid a bastard. I mean, look at his eyes. It’s obvious he’s some sort of demon.