Snooki was in a car accident. She’s totally hurt. Like for real, you guys.
Ensuring Detective Somerset will find Selena Gomez‘s head in a box soon, Justin Bieber continues to post pics to Twitter basically saying, “Hey, I fucking Selena Gomez if that isn’t clear. I hope it’s clear.” But he shouldn’t meet a delivery guy on a dirt road if he can help it. California, tell your people to stay away. Stay away now, don’t – don’t come in here. Whatever you hear, stay away! Jane Doe has the upper hand!
You ever had what should have been a one night stand that turned into a five-year relationship/marriage that ended badly? Yeah, Christopher Knight, 52, and Adrianne Curry, 28, do. E! reports:
“After starting a relationship with what seemed to be irreconcilable differences, the couple has reached a period where those differences are no longer appreciated,” the couple’s manager, Phil Viardo, told the website Hollyscoop. “The decision was mutually reached after it became clear to both that some perspective was needed in order to assess their unique union. Not unlike all marriages, work must be put in.” And there was more. “Obvious to both Knight and Curry was that their marriage would require more effort then a garden-variety relationship,” Viardo went on. “They are taking time to see if they want to continue to put in that extraordinary effort. The couple has mutually determined that they are at a place where moving forward will require a step back. They still love one another but need some distance to consider their future.”
In a interview on the Howard Stern Show on May 12, Curry basically said the relationship was over.
“I might be a little out but he’s trying to get back in…we’ve had a lot of distance lately.” And that wasn’t all. “My big joke now is, ‘I’m Mrs. Knight the third and probably not the last,” added Curry, 28. “You know, cause I always tell him, ‘I understand, now, why they left you.’ And I understand why we’re together. Because it’s very—it would be very hard for [other] people to put up with us…I frustrate him to the point where he’s smashing his face into walls.”
I actually kinda feel bad for Adrianne Curry because she was born a super Star Wars and video game dork in the body of what you see in the banner picture, so that must be hard trying to reconcile everyday. She wants people to see how cool and down-to-earth she is, when in reality, she could walk around with kitten’s heads as a necklace and say a mailbox was responsible for 9/11 and guys would just smile and nod because they just want to fuck her. And as for Knight, I can see how it would be hard to see your wife tweet pics of everything except her ovaries on a daily basis. Wow. I think I put way too much thought into this. Just like I do my outfits. Because not everything can compliment my deep brown eyes of mystery.
Sean Kingston, a singer of a song that Jess admitted liking (“HE SANG FIREBURNING DAMMIT” – Jess), was enjoying Miami this weekend until he crashed his jet ski into the Palm Ave bridge and tried to bust my dead pool bracket. Kingston was transported to Ryder Trauma Center in critical condition. Somebody called 911. TMZ reports:
Hip-hop star Sean Kingston is in critical condition in a Miami Beach hospital after being injured in a bad jet skiing accident Sunday evening. According to Local10.com, the “Beautiful Girls” singer had a female passenger on board his watercraft when it crashed into a bridge around 6:00 PM local time. We’re told both Kingston and his passenger were rescued from the water by a good Samaritan.
The “injured” and “Sunday evening” make it sound like he stepped on a crab during a romantic stroll and did that thing where he hopped on one foot during a music montage. I don’t know. Maybe he did hurt his foot, too. I guess that wasn’t reported because he was puking blood all over the ocean. TMZ reports:
Jonathan Rivera, a member of the Coast Guard, says he was driving his boat around Star Island on his day off … when he was called over to the accident scene by a man and a woman on a jet ski. Rivera says he noticed an empty jet ski, a woman in the water floating (she was wearing a vest and complaining her head hurt) and Kingston…Rivera says he wrapped his arms around Kingston and held on to the jet ski to help keep Kingston’s head above water. Rivera said Kingston was “convulsing and throwing up blood all over me” — but said he didn’t notice any head trauma. Rivera tells us he held onto Kingston for about 15 minutes, until a police boat finally arrived. Rivera says he doesn’t think he could have held on much longer than he did. Rivera says when helped arrived, he told Sean he was going to be okay. He says Kingston repeated back to him, “I’m going to be okay.”
Recent reports say alcohol wasn’t a factor, but I was kinda hoping it was. Because if he wasn’t drunk, that means Sean Kingston turns into an Asian woman trying merge onto an interstate when he gets on a jet ski. “That’s gangsta,” nobody was quoted as saying.
Before Jennifer Lopez was famous for being a hypocritical karaoke judge, she was married to a waiter named Ojani Noa. He documented it, and he’s finally going to cash in. Radar Online reports:
Jennifer Lopez is facing a huge embarrassment as intimate home video of the singer with her ex-husband, Ojani Noa, is set to be released.
Lopez has been battling Noa in court for years to prevent release of the footage, which was taken during their short lived marriage.
Lopez had been successful in that legal fight…Up till now…citing that release of the footage would violate the confidentiality agreement Noa signed.
Court documents, exclusively obtained by RadarOnline.com reveal that Noa managed to find a loophole in the law – selling the footage to his current girlfriend, Claudia Vazquez for her to release it on his behalf.
A Los Angeles judge issued a ruling Friday morning that allows Vazquez to release the footage JLo doesn’t want the public to see.
Ed Meyer, the executive producer of the project tells RadarOnline.com: “Claudia Vazquez has been allowed to release the home videos of Ojani and Jennifer. The project will deal with JLo’s rise to fame, and her marriage to Ojani. Claudia will be meeting with video distributors on Tuesday, and hopefully, a deal can be made very soon.”
The written ruling states: “Vazquez argues she has and is suffering harm in that she has had difficulty in obtaining work as a result of Lopez’s attempts at enforcing the Injunction against her.
“Vazquez argues that Lopez, on the other hand, will suffer no harm if Vazquez’s preliminary injunction is granted. Lopez puts forth no arguments contradicting those of Vazquez and, in fact, fails to address this element of the preliminary injunction test altogether. As a result, the Court finds that the balance of the equities weighs in favor of Vazquez.
Lopez and Cuban-born Noa were married February 1997 and divorced in 1998. They met when Noa was working as a waiter in a Miami restaurant.
I could give a shit less about the actual video and how it might potentially embarrass Jennifer Lopez. What should embarrass Jennifer Lopez is her taste in men. There’s a reason you
bang flirt with the waiter, not marry the waiter. The drinks aren’t really free anymore when you have a joint checking account.
Images from WENN.
I realize I subjected you to a fat chicks and probably a tranny or two over a holiday weekend, and it makes me feel a little bad, so here’s Holly Peers not wearing much. If it gets too scary out there, just scroll up and click here for NSFW visual comfort.
Earlier this week, reality TV star Kim Kardashian announced her engagement to NBA pro Kris Humphries–and while her sisters were super excited, it seems her little brother, Rob, just doesn’t think a wedding will actually happen.
“I just don’t feel confident because Kim has always been so like, you know, she’s, how old? She’s just been through a lot of relationships and she always gets hurt or never finds the right dude, but Kris is a really good dude,”he said to radio hosts Kidd Kraddick and Hyla on the Hollywood 5. “They’ve had their own personal, private relationship a long time now and I feel like they are a really good match for each other.”
Rob also described the scene when Kim told the family she was engaged. We were having a family dinner and we didn’t know what it was for, we just thought everyone was in town, we were at my mom’s,” he said. “She had a ring on and we didn’t believe her and we thought it was a joke, no one really, like, did anything, and it was like, oh wait, then it got crazy and there were ponies, it was really bizarre!”
But even though Rob isn’t so sure his sister will walk down the aisle with Humphries, he did admit that he likes the NBA star. “I spent like a family vacation with him and he’s a cool dude from Minnesota and like normal, and I’m about being normal and chill.”
In his own inarticulate way, Rob Kardashian did all the work for me. He already called his own sister out for being completely fake, old, and damaged goods. I wish he’d have just made a point or two about urinal cakes and the Amistad so I could get back to drinking.
Christina Aguilera was arrested in March for severe intoxication. Guess what she’s been up to? Radar Online reports:
Christina Aguilera was back on the party train on Thursday and the singer was anything but Beautiful as she staggered out of a Hollywood hotspot.
The Burlesque star looked wasted as she staggered out of The Beverly while being supported by boyfriend Matthew Rutler. With her eyes half-closed and her red lipstick smudged, Aguilera, 30, wobbled in her platform shoes as she was guided carefully to a waiting car.
Enjoying a night out with friends at the new trendy nightclub, the couple had been spotted earlier in the evening cuddling and canoodling but Christina appeared to have had one too many cocktails.
Before Aguilera and her boy toy hit the club, they went for dinner at Osteria Mozza, the same L.A. Italian eatery where they dined and downed drinks on March 1 before Rutler got arrested for DUI and Aguilera was taken in for “being severely intoxicated.”
Sadly the Grammy award winning singer’s brush with the law hasn’t slowed down her boozing, and friends are concerned that she’s partying too hard. Us Magazine recently reported that the arrest hadn’t affected Aguilera’s hard-drinking habits.
“She’s nearly fall-down wasted every night,” a source told the magazine.
Christina Aguilera had someone to hold her up, but she could’ve used another set of hands to hold two other things up. She wasn’t driving, so who gives a shit? The girl just needs to increase her tolerance. And probably her cardio, because this is probably the only circumstance in which she’d be considered a lightweight.
Images via WENN.
But her ex doesn’t want to see it. From TMZ:
Former WWE wrestler X-Pac — who co-starred with Chyna in their 2004 sex-tape — says he absolutely refuses to watch her new XXX flick … telling TMZ “It’s too hard remembering how devastated she was the first time around.”
TMZ spoke with X-Pac — real name Sean Waltman — who tells us, “It saddens me … but she obviously hasn’t progressed very far in life.”
As we first reported, Chyna recently struck a deal with Vivid Entertainment to release a brand new porno flick featuring the former Playboy model in some compromising positions with multiple endowed male professionals.
Sean adds, “[Chyna] used to say how low she felt after the first [sex tape] was released … what does that say about where she’s at in life now?”
It says that she’s a shitty business woman. If E! could shell out money for a Kardashian’s wedding, they can afford to pay the Ninth Wonder to be the Eighth Wonder’s understudy.
You can thank WENN for these images.
Jeff Conaway, better known as Kenickie from Grease and even better known as that one guy from Celebrity Rehab, died today at 60 years old. But it’s not from what you think! No, really. Dr. Drew says so. TMZ reports:
Despite widespread reports, “Grease” star Jeff Conaway did NOT die from a drug overdose — but rather his body gave out after long-term prescription drug abuse … this according to Dr. Drew.
Drew — who treated Conaway on “Celebrity Rehab” — tells us there is no evidence showing Jeff died from an overdose … saying, “This was aspiration with overwhelming pneumonia and sepsis.”
Drew tells us Jeff’s condition was inevitable because the actor had been a serious pill popper for years and the constant substance abuse wore down his body.
Drew explains, “Jeff is another pharmaceutical death from the overutilization of prescription drugs. Please continue to pray for friends and family. They appreciate your support.”