“January Jones is happy to announce that she is expecting her first child this fall,” her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively. While Jones is keeping quiet for now on any other details, a source close to her says, “She’s really looking forward to this new chapter in her life as a single mom.”
When translated, the above blockquote reads: “Look, this chick is kind of a slut, okay? She has no idea who the father is but once she finds out, you’ll be first to know. Okay? Huh? Man, I don’t know. She’s hot, she fucks a lot of dudes, what are you a cop? Chill out.” Not that I care either way. She could be 20 months pregnant and still be skinnier than Christina Hendricks, so whatever. But in breaking news, I got a Starbucks giftcard today. Yeah, so there’s that.