Gwyneth Paltrow Is An Idiot



Director Bruce Paltrow died from complications of cancer and pneumonia in 2002 after battling oral cancer since 1998, but leading medical experts and oncologists are unsure why he didn’t miraculously recover. Because, afterall, Gwyneth did feed him gluten-free noodles. The Daily Mail reports:

GWYNETH Paltrow has revealed that she embarked on her strict macrobiotic diet in an attempt to cure her dying father. The actress hoped her rigid eating plan would help film director dad Bruce Paltrow after he was diagnosed with throat cancer. But when Gwyneth, 38, served him gluten-fee noodles for lunch, he took a mouthful and said: “It’s like biting into the New York Times.” Mum-of-two Gwyneth, who is launching a cookbook, Notes From My Kitchen Table, said: “It’s obviously ridiculous, but I didn’t want him to die and the doctors said he had to be healthier. “So I started to read about how powerful the body can be if you do not poison it with processed food and white sugar – there are cases that show that sometimes people can heal themselves.”

Gwyneth Paltrow has a cookbook to promote, so I guess now is a good time to tell the world how she made her dad’s last remaining days a living hell by force feeding him grains and vegetables she bought from a Mexican guy on the side of the road. Because that’s what will kill cancer. Wheat germ and legumes wrapped in some seaweed. If you took an X-ray of his throat in 2002, I bet you could totally see those cancer cells hiding behind the couch in mortal fear. Eggplants and miso soup?! OMG, run! RUN!!!!

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By todd, April 18, 2011 38 comments