Michael Lohan Has Giant Balls

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Even though his daughter has been to rehab six times and has ingested more semen and blow than an Adam Lambert clone army, Michael Lohan has to decided to take his sanctimonious, judgmental talents to write an open letter to Charlie Sheen in a effort help the actor cure his addiction. Oh, and get his name in the news. Let’s don’t forget that. RadarOnline reports:

Charlie,

I have been wanting to speak to you for some time. I know that you and Emilio both know Lindsay, and while I can’t say the same about knowing you, I can say that I do know the path, the pain and what you your dad and the rest of your family have been going through. Both as an addict and a father, I have seen, felt and caused the pain. I have struggles just like the rest of us. People I admire, such as Jane Velez Mitchell (in her book Addict Nation) and Dr. Drew, shows so often on his show and interviews, we live with a disease. The problem between addiction and other diseases is the addiction is selfish, it’s a lie, and addiction takes other lives in so many ways. And while, there is NO CURE for addiction, where there is for other diseases, we can overcome it and control it like Lindsay has. BUT it’s up to you. Just look at the damage you’re causing Charlie. Not only to yourself, but to others. Look at your beautiful kids, Denise, Brooke and your family. I look at the same with Dina, my children and others. The network may be behind you and you may still have a job, but things like that WON’T last forever. God keeps knocking and giving you favor, but the chances will come to an end, and the leash will snap, and then you will be gone. Don’t do that. Like Lindsay, you are blessed with talent, ability and gifts to touch lives in such positive ways. Look in the mirror, HONESTLY. And say to yourself, “Is this who I am? Is this what I want? And most importantly, I this what God and my family want to see me as?” There are a lot of people there for you. And it doesn’t take a high end rehab to give you the help you need. I know that Dr Drew would be happy to help you. Like I said Charlie, we all have struggles; just as I do in so many ways. But the idea is to do something about it before it’s too late. As a matter of fact, these words of inspiration have inspired me. So thanks and I hope you can say the same. God Bless you, and may God protect you and the lives you touch.

Best,

Michael Lohan

Right, because if you want to take advice from anyone, it’s an ex-con in a mesh tank top with a Zune holster on his braided belt while his daughter is, at this exact moment, probably licking coke off the floor. With one of her high heels in her hand. And her panties around one ankle. And the blood…the blood. So much blood…oh, God. Oh, God! What happened here??!!

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