Lindsay Is Free

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Wait, it’s been 90 days already? I guess it’s too late to get my Ed Hardy shirt off lay-a-way. Damn. I only had sixteen more payments! Radar Online reports:

Lindsay Lohan has been released from the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California after a 90-day stint in rehab, RadarOnline.com has learned. The Mean Girls star, 24, served the rehab stint in connection with her 2007 DUI conviction, as her repeated failures to meet the terms of her probation caused her to serve two stints in rehab — and two in jail — last year. Anticipating her release, Lohan Tweeted New Year’s Day that “Today is the first day of the rest of my life. The future depends on what we do in the present.’ -Mahatma Gandhi… One step at a time…”

So, we’re quoting Gandhi now? Awesome. Because if a coke whore with no sense of responsibility or feeling in her vagina can relate to anything, it’s the ideological leader of a nation who defied British colonial rule with nonviolent resistance. Shut up, bitch. I give you until March before you’re caught in a tent outside Medellín in nothing but a nurse’s mask trying to cut cocaine with dirt you painted white.

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