Yep. This Is Totally Believable.

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Since Lindsay Lohan is in Betty Ford and has spent more than two consecutive days in a row completely sober, she has realized her mother is an enabling monster who exploits Lindsay’s coke and cock problem for her own gain. Lindsay has reportedly cut her mom completely off, but will that stop Dina Lohan from living in complete denial? Um, no. No it won’t. RadarOnline reports:

The real reason Lindsay Lohan is no longer slated to play porn star Linda Lovelace in a feature film is because she didn’t want to play a drug addict after what she’s been through, her mother Dina told RadarOnline.com exclusively. The Mean Girls star, 24, has had many other offers and is looking at scripts now, and has found two that she particularly likes, Dina added. Contradicting reports that Lindsay was replaced on Inferno, the story about Lovelace, Dina said: “She turned Inferno down.” Dina Lohan told RadarOnline.com that Lindsay simply didn’t want to come out of rehab and play a drug addict. The recovering actress is scheduled to be released from the Betty Ford Center on January 3. “The movie is about a drug addict and a porn star… it is hard when you are a serious actor with what she has been through, we don’t need that,” Dina told RadarOnline.com. “Lindsay was disappointed because she really wanted to do it, but she felt that it would not be good for her after what she has experienced.” “It was hard for her to turn it down, because it was an amazing role.”

Just so we’re clear, there were no conflicting reports. Lindsay was fired. The producers put the movie on hold so Lindsay could get her shit together, and when she didn’t, they found somebody who already has. Jesus, is it really this possible to live in a make believe fantasy world of delusion where you actually believe that Lindsay Lohan is turning down roles because she’s a “serious actress”? Please. Lindsay would play Nicole Brown Simpson and do her own stunts if somebody agreed to raise this bitch’s FICO score fifty points.

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