Michelle Please Forgive Mustafa

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Michelle, you don’t know me personally, but your ex-boyfriend Mustafa wrote me and told me you’re a big fan of the site. He also told me that you guys just broke up after being together 2 and half years and that he will do anything to get you back. In his defense, he’s a guy, and most of us are idiots. We don’t tell you thank you enough, we don’t call when we say we will, we don’t notice when you do something different with your hair, but we’re working on that. But Mustafa is working on getting you back, and whatever he did or whatever he said, just realize it’s keeping him up nights and therefore clogging up my inbox. So do me and the guy a favor and take him back, and when you get married, I’ll give a toast at your wedding (NSFW, applicable fees apply). If you don’t take him back, I’ll give him Sophie Turner’s phone number. The Lion King is her favorite movie, so you better make this quick.

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