Heath Ledger Might Be In The Dark Knight Rises By todd November 30, 2010



Don’t look now, but I might be hard. Oh, okay. You can look! Stuff reports:

Christopher Nolan is reportedly considering using previously unseen footage of Heath Ledger in the new Batman movie. “The idea is to use these fragments of cut scenes and use CGI to have The Joker appear one last time,” a source explained. “Chris wants some continuity between movies and for the franchise to pay tribute to Heath and his portrayal of the Joker.” It is thought only a snippet of footage will be used, although the plan is only in the early stages at the moment. If it goes ahead it is likely to be a hit with fans and industry professionals alike, as Heath’s portrayal of the Joker has gone down in film history as one of the most intense depictions of a character ever seen. “It would only be a fleeting moment in the movie and would only be included with the full consent of Heath’s family,” the source added.

Of course this is all just unsubstantiated rumor and speculation, but Christopher Nolan couldn’t make a bad movie if he tried and Heath Ledger as The Joker was utterly brilliant, so I’m going to live my life like this is 100% true. Just like the time my girlfriend told me that size doesn’t matter and that she loves me just for me. She’s so sweet!

Don’t look now, but I might be hard. Oh, okay. You can look! Stuff reports: Christopher Nolan is reportedly considering using previously unseen footage of Heath Ledger in the new…

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Christine Teigen Is New Here, Not Really By todd November 30, 2010

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I was under the impression that only you miserable assholes read this site (No! not you, I love you! You know that, baby), but apparently a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit and Victoria’s Secret model reads it, too. Specifically, Christine Teigen. American Airlines’ fascist policy against looking at online nudity brought us together, and now I’m trying to convince her to do an interview since I am the Charlie Rose of celebrity blogs. She’s Thai and Norwegian and she’s currently dating John Legend, who apparently kept himself entertained during the AMAs by reading my live tweets. Although, he was recently busy recording an album with The Roots (AVAILABLE NOW!!!). Man, how did that link get in there?! It’s almost like I’m kissing her ass or something! Hahahaha, I can’t believe that you would even suggest such a th….well, let’s be honest. I kissed a free phone’s ass before, so let’s not pretend we don’t know what’s happening here.

By the way, it’s also Christine Teigen’s 25th birthday today. And I won $20 on a scratch off ticket today. Man, me and John Legend! Just two guys living the dream!

I was under the impression that only you miserable assholes read this site (No! not you, I love you! You know that, baby), but apparently a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit and…

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Lindsay Wants The Paparazzi To Stop Following Her By todd November 30, 2010



You might be confused by the title of this post after you just read this, but please keep in mind, nowhere in Lindsay’s contract with the paparazzi does it say they can follow her to her dealer’s house then take pictures of her. Who do these people think they are?! TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan believes she’s being denied driving privileges because the paparazzi are constantly on her tail … so she’s asking her lawyer to get a restraining order prohibiting them from chasing her. As we first reported, the L.A. County Probation Department — along with the DMV — have given Lindsay the green light to drive again. And Betty Ford was down with it as well. But sources involved in the decision tell TMZ … just when Lindsay was supposed the get the keys, Betty Ford decided it was too much of a safety risk to put Lindsay behind the wheel, because the paparazzi were creating an unsafe driving situation. We’re told Lindsay emailed her lawyer this weekend — with pictures attached showing the paps following her — asking the attorney to go to court for the restraining order. Sources say no decision has been reached on whether a restraining order is a viable option. In the meantime, Lindsay is still stuck in park.

So to recap, be at my beck and call and show up when and where I tell you so I can make money off the pictures you sell? Cool. I scheme everybody at Betty Ford and trick them into giving me my driver’s license back and now you want to follow me around and take my cut? Well sir, that’s an outrage! Whatever. Fuck this bitch. She shouldn’t be allowed to drive on Mario Kart much less an actual car.

You might be confused by the title of this post after you just read this, but please keep in mind, nowhere in Lindsay’s contract with the paparazzi does it say…

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Pink Is A Wonderful Mother By todd November 30, 2010



Shhh, don’t tell anyone. This post is about Pink, but I used Candice Swanepoel as the banner pic. Why Candice Swanepoel and not Pink? Dude. I hope you didn’t just say that out loud. Us Magazine reports:

Pink has a boozy potential name for her unborn baby: Jameson! Although the “Raise Your Glass” singer, 31, doesn’t yet know the gender of her child, she already has a moniker picked out if it’s a boy. “My dad’s name is James, and my brother’s name is Jason,” Pink explained to Billy Bush of Access Hollywood. “[Husband Carey Hart and I] are both Irish, Carey’s middle name is Jason, [and] Jameson — we like whiskey. That’s a no brainer.” Her hubby isn’t so sure, though. Pink told Bush that she and Hart, 35, are “all over the place” discussing names. “I’m all about meaning, and Carey feels like he had a girl’s hair cut and a girl’s name, and he doesn’t want kids to have a weird name…I have to get him on the boat for originality, so I’m working on him,” she said.

So to get him “on the boat for originality”, Pink has to convince Carey Hart that his kid should be named after something that was invented in 1780 and a porn star whose vagina is currently taking bids from contractors. Awesome. This kid really doesn’t need any more reasons for the bullies to pull his underwear out through his nose. His dad rides a bicycle and his mom looks like a wigger Aunt Jemima. You could name this kid Thor Megatron Wu-Tang Vampire Hunter and he’d still get beat with his own lunchbox.

Shhh, don’t tell anyone. This post is about Pink, but I used Candice Swanepoel as the banner pic. Why Candice Swanepoel and not Pink? Dude. I hope you didn’t just…

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Kourtney’s Boyfriend Wants To Hit This (Figuratively) By todd November 30, 2010

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Since their book, Kardashian Konfidential came out last week, there have been a million stories about these walking body hair removal ads. To garner publicity for the book, you see. This is one of them. National Enquirer reports:

When Kim and Scott were at a bar together recently, the insider says Scott pulled her aside and whispered: “You and I would be so good together.” After telling him off, the insider says Kim told Kourtney, who has an infant son with Scott, about the inappropriate pass – and Kourtney got angry at HER instead of Scott! The 27-year-old businessman came on to Kim soon after he and the sisters got into a brawl at the New York City nightclub Juliet on Oct. 7, according to the source. The melee was set off when a woman threw a drink on Kim. “Scott jumped in and protected Kim,” explained the insider. “She was really impressed with him sticking up for her, but Scott misinterpreted Kim’s reaction and tried to make more of the situation. “Even though she’s gone out of her way to defend him in the past, she was disgusted by Scott hitting on her.” Still, Kourtney blamed Kim for the incident and accused her of leading on Scott – and now the two sisters are fighting, says the insider. “I think he’s bored with Kourtney and decided that he’d be better off hitching himself to Kim, who is the family’s biggest star.” The insider said. “Never in a million years would Kim consider dating Scott. “But that hasn’t stopped him from trying.”


I really don’t care about this story, because 1.) It’s not true and 2.) It’s not true because Kourtney is and will always be the hot one. I just needed words in between these pictures of Kim Kardashian in a dress I assume she stole from a woman who could actually fit in it. If I saw this from the back I’d try to club it, because I’d be certain it was some sort of mutant seal.

Since their book, Kardashian Konfidential came out last week, there have been a million stories about these walking body hair removal ads. To garner publicity for the book, you see….

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Lindsay Lohan Is Making Money By todd November 29, 2010

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Since this is the only way she can make money to buy more blow when she is released back into the wild, Lindsay Lohan called the paparazzi to inform them of the exact time she was leaving an AA meeting so they could take her picture. Because what the world needs more of is pictures of Lindsay walking in and out of places. She seems to be putting on weight but we won’t really now for sure until her autopsy photos are released. So meet back here next year at the same time and we can discuss that further.

Wow. Nice lips there, Lindsay. Looks like they’ve had more injections than diabetes:

Since this is the only way she can make money to buy more blow when she is released back into the wild, Lindsay Lohan called the paparazzi to inform them…

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Cortland Finnegan Should Stick To His Own Weight Class By todd November 29, 2010

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Tennessee Titans’ cornerback Cortland Finnegan looks like a black Pauly D and is widely known in the NFL for being a punk bitch (hitting players when their helmets are off, throwing players to the ground by their heads, and jumping on wide receiver’s backs after they beat him like an escaped slave). On the other hand, Houston Texans’ wide receiver Andre Johnson is quiet, reserved, arguably one of the best playmakers in the NFL, and founder of the Andre Johnson Foundation, a non-profit organization that is committed to empowering and developing youth from single-parent homes into responsible and educated citizens. But when Cortland Finnegan tried his usual shit yesterday, Andre Johnson empowered his fist to make a dent in Finnegan’s temple.

Gemma Atkinson? How did she get in here?! Oh, that Gemma! Always popping up out of nowhere!

Tennessee Titans’ cornerback Cortland Finnegan looks like a black Pauly D and is widely known in the NFL for being a punk bitch (hitting players when their helmets are off,…
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I’m Focusing On My Breathing By todd November 29, 2010

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The happiest penis on Earth went to the happiest place on Earth for Thanksgiving and managed to take a picture which perfectly captured my sadness and clinical depression. Fine, be happy! See if I care!

The happiest penis on Earth went to the happiest place on Earth for Thanksgiving and managed to take a picture which perfectly captured my sadness and clinical depression. Fine, be…

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I Thought It Was Christmas By todd November 29, 2010



Comedy legend Leslie Nielsen actually died yesterday, but don’t worry, Kim Kardashian had her hair and makeup done then laid in a coffin to fight AIDS. Splash News reports:

Kim Kardashian stars in this striking new advert to battle AIDS around the world. Kim lies in what appears to be a coffin alongside the words ‘Kim Kardashian is Dead’. She and other celebs will sacrifice their digital lives, from Facebook to Twitter, to raise money to fight the disease. On Wednesday December 1st (World AIDS Day), Kim, who has more than 5.4 million Twitter followers, will be joined by Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake and others to go offline until $1 million USD has been raised for the Keep a Child Alive charity.

I don’t know who is on the marketing team over at the Keep a Child Alive, but if they want any money, they might not want to associate AIDS with good news. I’d kill Kim Kardashian to cure gingivitis, so this ad isn’t as heartbreaking as they has in mind.

Comedy legend Leslie Nielsen actually died yesterday, but don’t worry, Kim Kardashian had her hair and makeup done then laid in a coffin to fight AIDS. Splash News reports: Kim…

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Jake Gyllenhaal And Taylor Swift Are Thankful By jess November 28, 2010
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For publicity. People says:

Two days after enjoying maple lattes together in Brooklyn, N.Y., on Thanksgiving, Swift and Gyllenhaal popped up in the singer’s hometown of Nashville.

On Saturday afternoon, the couple were spotted getting a late breakfast at Fido, a coffeehouse and café near Vanderbilt University and Music Row.

“They were smiling and laughing. They were talking a lot and enjoying each other’s company,” fellow diner Elaina Mishu tells PEOPLE. “They didn’t look like [just] friends.”

Of course they’re not just friends, otherwise they wouldn’t have painted each other’s nails and baked cookies and texted their crushes together when they got home. Because those are things you only do with your bestie. Or your beard.

For publicity. People says: Two days after enjoying maple lattes together in Brooklyn, N.Y., on Thanksgiving, Swift and Gyllenhaal popped up in the singer’s hometown of Nashville. On Saturday afternoon,…

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