According to a lawsuit filed in federal court, D.J. Goodson claims he was forced to watch “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” and “Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami.” Punishment for bad behavior, perhaps? Goodson says he developed “extreme emotional distress due to their outrageousness of actions.” Goodson claims he’s permanently scarred from watching domestic abuse (a boxing match on the show featuring Kim), emotional abuse (rantings courtesy of Kourtney and “paramour Scott”) and racism (Khloe referring to a baby doll as “the black baby”).
D.J. Goodson, whoever you are, I salute you! Men and women have endured the unfavorable conditions of prison for centuries without so much as a peep, but the moment E!’s Sunday night line-up becomes required viewing, this dude is tapping out. Big Bubba could take a personal tour of his colon, but seeing Khloe trying on bikinis in South Beach is cruel and unusual punishment. Society has been subjected to the Kardashians for a few years now and I can’t believe no one else has thought to use them as a viable form of discipline. Every time I hear one of them whining, I want to commit hari-kari, so for all you capital punishment detractors- I think we’ve found a new compromise.
For good measure, here is Ryan Reynolds leaving The Early Show yesterday in New York. Are anyone else’s ovaries tap dancing right now?