Lindsay Is The Epitome of Selflessness

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Three weeks before she was sent to jail, Lindsay Lohan posed in a prisoner-striped bikini and opened her mouth for an interview. I don’t know how a meth addict who goes through more alcohol than Oktoberfest can truly believe she’s Mother Teresa, but please remember she’s high most of the time. E! reports:

Just shy of her 24th birthday at the time of her interview with the men’s mag, Lindsay proffered the following older and wiser nugget when asked about her hopes for the upcoming year: “To focus on myself and my work and to move all press on me to focus on the work I do.” ‘Cause if there’s one thing LiLo embodies at the moment, it’s the epitome of selflessness. “Also, I’d like to do more work in India and travel to Malawi,” she said. Having apparently gained insight from the roadblock-heavy path she’s on, she also offered up some advice about how to cope with adversity. “Stay true to yourself always,” she said. “At the end of the day, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and be content with the choices you’ve made, and will make, in your life. Go with your gut!”

Yeah, because that’s what underprivileged kids need see. A completely delusional drunk whore with a low T-cell count fumbling around for her lighter and rolling up a dollar bill while trying to explain how electricity works. I give her two hours in India before she’s caught trying to put a condom on an elephant and snorting curry.

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