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Judge Marshal Revel ruled today that Lindsay Lohan violated the terms of her probation in her 2007 DUI and drug case and sentenced the delusional drunk bitch to 90 days in jail to be immediately followed by 90 days of rehab. She was also placed on “formal probation” where she must refrain from walking by any bottle filled labeled “alcohol” and submit to random drug tests. When the sentenced was announced, Lindsay broke down in tears. I’m not sure what Judge Revel is doing after court today, but she might want to check with Superman and Martian Manhunter, because I’m pretty sure the rest of the Justice League have made reservations somewhere.
Note: To make this post exponentially more awesome than it already is, Rosie Jones and her perfect boobs stand with you my friends on this momentous occasion.