Jessica Simpson’s Show Is Being “Retooled”

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Everything Jessica Simpson touches turns to shit (here, here, here, here, here, here, and here), so it’s no surprise that her new show, Price Of Beauty, is about to be canceled. Us Magazine reports:

The show — which earned just 1 million viewers for its March premiere — may now focus more on Simpson giving people makeovers, as she did in the finale episode, instead of traveling the world with her pals and saying wacky things. “VH1 is in talks with Jessica for a series on beauty and image,” a source close to the project tells Us. A VH1 spokesperson tells Us, “We are here to stay with Jessica and are committed to this journey and this message with her about women, self image, etc… all through Jessica’s totally unique and unfiltered lens. We are really excited about the next step, which we will announce soon and will air on VH1 in 2011.”

“Retooled” is short for “Damn, your show sucks. Why did we agree to do this crap? You have one more chance bitch or you’re going back to selling wigs or whatever the hell it is you do, retard.” I couldn’t care less if it stays on for 20 years or gets canceled by the time I go to lunch today, but speaking of retooled, can we do something about that new show Friends? The chick who plays Rachel should get naked more. She’ll probably get into movies, because she’s gonna be a big st…what? How did this….? You mean I…what day is it?! What year?!

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