Russell Brand has to die [The Superficial]
Salma Hayek really needs to model our t-shirts [Popoholic]
Miranda Kerr upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie]
Forbes’ Top(less) 2010 Celebrity 100 Power List (you’ll want to see this) [COED Magazine]
Britney Spears might be abusing her kids. [Celebslam]
Leighton Meester vs. Jessica Alba. Really? [Egotastic]
Carolina “Pampita” Ardohain. My…God. [Heyman Hustle]
Christina Hendricks loves gaining weight [Cele|bitchy]
Paris Hilton packs light [Popeater]
Unfamous white guys are taking all the famous black chicks [Allie Is Wired]
NOTE: I just straight up asked for pics of your tits today, but my boy over at The Superficial is more of a gentleman and is looking for a new banner girl (you can enter here). He isn’t gay or anything, he just likes to look at women’s faces. I do to, but I just take their imprint off my pillow.
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Lindsay’s 2007 DUI arrest is a mystery much like Stonehenge. She was fucking hammered driving down PCH at 100 miles an hour in an SUV she carjacked, and when the police finally pulled her over, she had cocaine. Then how did she get to plea deal and spend 84 minutes in jail? Because California police are incompetent idiots.
Now we know why Lindsay Lohan’s 2007 DUI case may have plea bargained so quickly — the cop who took custody of the cocaine mistook it for a breath mint and threw it in the trash. Pretty incredible, but according to the Santa Monica Police report — obtained by TMZ — the officer “discovered a folded Clinique sun care card with an unknown substance caked on to the surface of the card in Lohan’s right rear pocket.” The report goes on: “Some of the white substance fell to the floor. I used my foot to see what had fell but thought nothing of it. I did not recognize the substance attached to the card and initially thought the substance was a wet crushed breath mint.” And now it gets good: “I put the card into the jail trash can next to the booking windows. I was looking at the floor and began to recognize the substance as resembling powder cocaine. I then recovered the card from the trash.” The cop says the coke was in the trash for about 2 minutes. He put the card in an evidence envelope, then scooped up the coke that had fallen to the floor and placed it in a separate evidence envelope.
C’mon, man. Seriously? A wet crushed breath mint? What do you have to do to become a cop in California? Trace a picture of a turtle? Compete in a ring toss? It’s Lindsay Lohan. Of course it was gonna be blow. That’s like stopping Freddy Kreuger and throwing away what you thought was his back scratcher.
UPDATE: My inbox looks like a breast augmentation photo gallery right now. If you sent me an email asking me why your pic isn’t on FB, it’s because you did not give me permission to do so. Yes, I know, but that thing with your sister was different.
Yeah so, IDLYITW is toying with the idea of designing t-shirts for the site. I assume no guy would wear them unless he wanted his ass kicked, but what do you ladies think? Before we start moving on this bitch, we need to know if anybody would actually want to buy them. I posted this on Facebook yesterday and the response was a resounding yes as long as I make V-necks, spaghetti straps, camisoles and other girly crap, but we thought we’d cover all our bases here. If we get rolling on this thing, we’ll do prizes nd giveaways, so if you’d be interested, let us know in the comments. And anybody who sends in a pic with them wearing the shirt will be featured on the site if they want. If you aren’t, go shit in your hand because you are a miserable human being and God hates you. I’m just kidding, I love you. I’m not really sure about God. Now seriously, let us know in the comments.
Note: I also asked if anyone would be willing to model them for a free-shirt, and again, the answer was a resounding and erection-inducing yes. The banner pic is of a reader named Jennifer who couldn’t wait and wanted to start right away. If want to begin your journey to a free t-shirt and my free judgment of your boobs right away like Jennifer did, please email us at email@example.com
Lady Gaga declares she is bisexual as she appears on the cover of Japanese magazine Giselle. The ‘Pokerface’ singer appears on the latest issue of the publication with her hair in her trademark bow. Inside she says she could easily get with a girl but looks for relationships with men. “I am bisexual,” she says. “I can go out with girls but in my opinion, love and sex are different.”
My heavens, I might just have to clutch my pearls and fan myself, because what is this “bisexual” stuff she’s talking about? Does that mean a girl has sex with another girl? What is this new godless heathen talk? People don’t do that. I bet next she’s gonna tell me that people drink pasteurized milk and drive around in something called motorized cars. What, are we in outer space?! What is all this mumbo jumbo?!
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I wondered why bluebirds dressed me this morning and why I was able to slide down a rainbow to my truck from my balcony to the parking garage, but now I know why. Kelly Brook is still in Barbados. Can’t we just go ahead and put her on the dollar bill already? Why do we need George Washington anyway? “George Washington doesn’t have big tits,” a person from 1781 was quoted as saying. “He doesn’t have big tits at all.”
Since her dad freed O.J. after he cut Nicole Brown’s head off, Kin Kardashian felt the need to post this pic of the decapitated head of her waxwork figure that will be on display at Madame Tussauds in New York. Apparently this is a real honor. Whatever. My statue is on full display outside cigar shops all over the country, not just New York. Haha, I win!
Charlie Rose wannabe Larry King has announced that cable TV’s most irrelevant talk show is going off the air after 25 years. King will remain with CNN and appear on “occasional specials”. Us Magazine reports:
After 25 years, his program Larry King Live will wrap up sometime this fall, the 76-year-old confirmed in a statement Tuesday. Citing a desire to spend more time with his family, King said “I’m looking forward to the future and what my next chapter will bring, but for now it’s time to hang up my nightly suspenders.”
The article doesn’t go on to say that Larry King will spend his time writing his memoirs, discussing how the new musical act Color Me Badd has a bright future, and coming to life every night when the museum closes.
Note: Your discerning eye may have noticed that the banner pic is not Larry King but Playboy Playmate Jessica Burciaga. Why no picture of Larry King? I really hope you just didn’t say that out loud.
Perez Hilton paused 300 long enough today to beat off instead to this picture that he posted on Twitter with the caption, “My hubby is so hot! I love him!”. Turns out it was Lady Gaga. Imagine everyone’s surprise! Popeater reports:
Lady Gaga just won’t stop toying around with those hermaphrodite rumors. Now, the ever-eccentric pop star appears in drag (?) for an upcoming issue of Vogue Hommes Japan. Perez Hilton and Gaga’s stylist, Nicola Formichetti, teased the Twitterverse this morning with photos of a mysterious male model — one that happens to have a strikingly familiar profile. Formichetti credits the model as “Jo Calderone,” but he later linked out to a blog debating whether or not the mystery man is indeed Gaga
Man, Lady Gaga is so full of edgy antics! When will they ever get old?! Yeah, that would be now. Stylist reports:
Is it just us or is everyone coming down with a case of Lady Gaga Fatigue? A few months ago, we didn’t think twice about blasting “Telephone” on repeat until the neighbors called to complain, and each and every day seemed like a new opportunity to gawk at her latest madcap outfit. But now a series of awkward incidents has us wondering if Lady Gaga might have — dare we say — jumped the shark. Sure, her sister may be cool with being upstaged…but the whole thing suggested that perhaps the pop star has been taking her role as a fashion icon a little too seriously. She didn’t look stylish — she looked like a tool...The genius of Lady Gaga’s envelope-pushing style is that it always felt like she was getting the last laugh, toying with conventional beauty standards while breaking new fashion ground. Even if our first reaction was “What is she wearing this time?” she earned our respect and always had the upper hand. But in these last few weeks something seems to have shifted. Now, it seems like the joke just might be on her.
So before you take your earrings off and have a protest parade, please understand that everything Lady Gaga does is completely unoriginal and tired. “But Todd, Lady Gaga blurs the gender roles and makes us question what sexuality really is!” Really? Like he did 30 years ago? “Well, she writes and performs her own songs and they’re #1 hits!” Oh, you mean like this chick who wrote, produced, and performed #1 hits at the age of 17 in 1989? “But she took on religion in her sacrilegious video for Allejandro!” Yeah, so did she. When Gaga was 9. “But she’s a trailblazing fashion icon who uses pop music and her image to challenge what we believe to be fashion!”. Yeah, like her. “But she’s a fashion and gay icon who can sing!” Better than this gay icon? “That’s different! Gaga’s music makes people dance!” Oh, then you mean like this one? “No! Lady Gaga is the gay icon and she will never be replaced no matter who gayer comes along!” Really, why don’t you ask her about that? In closing, shut the fuck up. Have a good day, everyone!
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Day 2 of Kelly Brook Barbados Bikini Hotness Bonanaza is upon us, and if at all possible, if somebody could taser her when she tries to leave then point her to the nearest bikini shop, I would appreciate it. If this was Bulgaria, she’d already be blindfolded and hit with a cattle prod when her name was called at the auction, so I don’t see what the hold up is. Dammit, Barbados! Do I have to do everything myself?!
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Katy Perry was on the Graham Norton Show last night and for the love of God does she wear anything that doesn’t show half her rack? She doesn’t? Good, just checking.