Too Many Lies To Keep Up With

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When you’re coked out of your damn mind every waking moment with your enabling mother holding your hand, you tend to think people will need Hoggle to get through the labryinth of your brilliant schemes. But just so you’re clear, no, no we don’t.

“I’m exhausted. I’ve been up for the last 24 hours with Lindsay and her attorneys dealing with this, Dina Lohan told RadarOnline.com. “It is true that her passport was stolen. “This was not a planned scheme. We are actively dealing with the French Embassy as we speak but unfortunately they close at a certain hour so we’re trying to get someone in a higher echelon to help us.”

Man, maybe they should tell the French Embassy about this.

Lindsay Lohan has not requested a new passport and may be stuck in France for a little while longer, RadarOnline.com has exclusively confirmed. Maryse Nebatti, the Duty Officer in Marseille for the U.S. Embassy in France, told RadarOnline.com that Lindsay reported the passport stolen but “has not requested a new passport.”

Jesus. Is this even funny anymore? I swear to God, if Lindsay isn’t greeted at LAX by the judge riding a puma that breathes fire I might have to say something really mean about her. Then, you know, go about the rest of my day.

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