Lindsay Is Completely Insane

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Since apparently coke and cock are not believable reasons for Lindsay to fly overseas and hide less than a week before her court date, it’s now some kind of conspiracy. I knew it!

Lindsay Lohan says her estranged father Michael is behind her passport getting stolen in France. “I always said my father had someone do it,” the actress, 23, told UsMagazine.com via email Thursday afternoon. A Los Angeles judge issued a bench warrant for Lohan’s arrest after she skipped a court hearing in L.A. Thursday related to her 2007 DUI conviction. Bail is set at $100,000. She could face 180 days in jail, the prosecutor announced in court Thursday.

Jesus, shut the fuck up bitch. The only thing your father is guilty of is mesh tank tops and not pulling out. Cat burglars didn’t break into your room and steal your passport you dumb bitch. In a more likely scenario, you autographed it and tried to sell it on eBay for some Grey Goose and a speedball.

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