Lady Gaga Is A Wonderful Boss

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I realize Lady Gaga is considered to be a musical genius by 13-year old girls and guys who put anal lube in their boyfriend’s Christmas stocking because she can rhyme “rah-rah-ah-ah-ah” with “roma, roma-ma” over beats she didn’t write or with just an acoustic piano. But apparently she’s God now.
The Daily Star reports:

The Bad Romance singer has banned her dancers from having sex on tour because she wants them to “make love to her on stage”….My tour source told me: “She has made it quite clear to all her dancers they are not allowed to have sex while the tour is still going. She won’t be happy if she finds out any of them have broken the rules and it’s likely they wouldn’t be asked back. “She wants them to give 100% on stage so she doesn’t want them wasting energy on bedtime action. In saucy routines during the show she pretends to have sex with some of the dancers and wants these bits to look as real as possible. She’s a perfectionist and wants every aspect of the tour just right.” My source added: “She’s told her dancers they are married to her so they need to fully commit to the tour in every way she requests.”

Man, let’s see, either have sex or prance around on stage in a leotard with a coked out hermaphrodite? I wouldn’t even be out of my Harlem Shake before I put baby powder on my hand and backhanded this delusional bitch.

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