God Should Autograph That

Science apparently discovered how to fuse denim to your body, because Jessica Biel walked around in New York yesterday with her perfect ass squeezed into the tightest jeans I have ever seen. I’m thinking about buying my penis a miner’s hat, because I’m not even halfway joking when I say I would dig between those back pockets like her held precious diamonds. Then I would cum really fast, you see.

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