Megan Fox Will Be Just Fine By todd May 28, 2010



Man, that Michael Bay is a genius. Showbiz reports:

Megan is mulling over a number of big movie offers including another sci fi franchise and a role in the next Pirates of the Caribbean,” reveals a source close to the actress. “She would play a mermaid who charms Captain Jack but she has a dark motive. “Megan has always loved Johnny and is desperate to work with him.”

The POTC franchise has made $1,038,150,155 domestically, so maybe Michael Bay can transform into an actual director and make something hotter than Johnny Depp going down on Megan Fox. And since the only love scenes in Transformers are between Shia LeWhatshisname and Bumblebee,I really don’t see that happening. What’s up with that by the way? What kind of heterophobic agenda is Bay pushing with tie-toys anyway?

Man, that Michael Bay is a genius. Showbiz reports: “Megan is mulling over a number of big movie offers including another sci fi franchise and a role in the next…

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God Bless America By todd May 28, 2010

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Despite the fact that she looks exactly like the hot ass teller at the Wachovia in Cameron Village, Sara Jean Underwood is famous for taking her clothes off rather than issuing me certified checks and twirling her hair when I tell her she looks like Kelly Ripa. I’m not sure what would happen if I had sex with her, but I’m pretty sure I’d cum a bald eagle and fireworks at some point.

Of course I did
: You can see some of her NSFW pics HERE, but be careful. You might fall in love.

Note: Yes, I live in Raleigh.

Despite the fact that she looks exactly like the hot ass teller at the Wachovia in Cameron Village, Sara Jean Underwood is famous for taking her clothes off rather than…

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Bret Michaels Is Replacing Simon Cowell By todd May 28, 2010



I guess being in a shitty band and having brain damage are pretty good qualities in a American Idol judge. Contacting Music reports:

The ailing rocker, who is still recovering from a near-fatal brain haemorrhage and a recent stroke, was an instant hit with fans, who gave him a standing ovation as he walked out to sing a rendition of Poison’s Every Rose Has Its Thorn. And Cowell was left so impressed he’s considering handing him his judging seat now that the Brit has quit the show after nine years on the panel. He says, “Actually, he’d be good. He’s funny. He’s got experience. He’d be a good choice – and you saw the audience reaction to him. They love him.”
And Michaels is hopeful he will be handed the job: “I’m sorry he (Cowell) has to go but sometimes things happen. Provided my health holds up, I think I’m taking that chair next year!”

I don’t know how being an expert in bandanas and the proper way to sanitize stripper poles has to do with karaoke, but hey, I wish him luck. He got the pity vote on Celebrity Apprentice, now he’s set to replace the best judge of talent on television. Almost dying is the best thing that ever to a person since Jesus. Maybe if he shoots himself in the face he can get a Grammy. Go for it, Bret!

I guess being in a shitty band and having brain damage are pretty good qualities in a American Idol judge. Contacting Music reports: The ailing rocker, who is still recovering…

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Kristen Stewart Is An Idiot By todd May 28, 2010



Kristen Stewart, hero to high school marching band clarinet players and enemy of desperate cougars everywhere, should really smoke some more weed before interviews. NDTV reports:

Twilight star Kristen Stewart hates being pursued by paparazzi so much that she has compared the experience to being “raped”. “It’s so… The photos are so.. I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can’t handle it. I never expected that this would be my life,” said Stewart. “What you don’t see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction. All you see is an actor or a celebrity lit up but a flash,” she added.

Maybe it’s because I’m such a fancy gentleman, but I think there’s a slight difference between having your picture taken and being raped. And by “slight difference” I mean shut the fuck up dumbass. In you weren’t famous, your picture wouldn’t be good for a K-Mart Portrait Studio, so if you could stop posing for a picture that nobody is taking, that would be great. And if you hate being famous so much, quit. You traced a turtle and mailed it back in to get whatever acting workshop certificate you have hanging on your wall. Basically what I’m saying is they could make Bella a wooden indian or a pelican in a top hat and nobody would know the difference.

Kristen Stewart, hero to high school marching band clarinet players and enemy of desperate cougars everywhere, should really smoke some more weed before interviews. NDTV reports: Twilight star Kristen Stewart…

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Miss No Ass By todd May 28, 2010

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Miss USA Rima Fakih showed up to Citi Field. Not sure why, but she apparently posed with a bat and made New York Mets players wonder why Mowgli was wearing skinny jeans.

Miss USA Rima Fakih showed up to Citi Field. Not sure why, but she apparently posed with a bat and made New York Mets players wonder why Mowgli was wearing…

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Kelly Brook Is Topless By todd May 28, 2010



Kelly Brook’s heavenly tits are in the July issue of Loaded magazine. She’s hot, but she’s not “Elora Lovelace hot” as the saying goes.

Kelly Brook’s heavenly tits are in the July issue of Loaded magazine. She’s hot, but she’s not “Elora Lovelace hot” as the saying goes.

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Hayley Williams Is Topless By todd May 27, 2010



Lead singer of the junior high dance band Paramore, Hayley Williams, “accidentally” uploaded this topless pic to her Twitter. It was removed three minutes later then she claimed she got hacked, but lucky for you I’m fast. You know, not just in bed. Look, it happens to a lot of guys. I can’t help tha….oh, just leave me alone!!!

Update: The story is the tried to DM her boyfriend, but I guess direct messaging is really hard to figure out on Twitter.

Lead singer of the junior high dance band Paramore, Hayley Williams, “accidentally” uploaded this topless pic to her Twitter. It was removed three minutes later then she claimed she got…

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Lindsay Lohan Is A Porn Star By todd May 27, 2010



TMZ has the first promotional posters for, Inferno, the biopic starring Lindsay Lohan as legendary porn star Linda Lovelace. Be sure to remember what these look like. The DVD bargain bin at Wal-Mart gets a little full sometimes.

TMZ has the first promotional posters for, Inferno, the biopic starring Lindsay Lohan as legendary porn star Linda Lovelace. Be sure to remember what these look like. The DVD bargain…

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Ambrosio Links By todd May 27, 2010



Alessandra Ambrosio. Goddamn. [Popoholic]
Mischa Barton upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie]
Megan Vs. Rosie [COED Magazine]
Gary Coleman is in critical condition. Attention whore! [Popeater]
Matt Lauer banged a tranny. No, seriously. [Celebslam]
Kate Moss in on a boat. Topless [Cityrag]
Jennifer Love Hewitt was in a 2-year relationship. She was cheated on 75% of the time. [Cele|bitchy]
The McCord sisters are progressively ugly [Egotastic]
April’s confession [College Humor]
Maria Kanellis is oral [Heyman Hustle]

Alessandra Ambrosio. Goddamn. [Popoholic] Mischa Barton upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie] Megan Vs. Rosie [COED Magazine] Gary Coleman is in critical condition. Attention whore! [Popeater] Matt Lauer banged a tranny. No, seriously….

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Maybe Megan Fox Was Right By todd May 27, 2010

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A lot has been made of Megan Fox’s departure of Transformers 3. Some blame it on her being a raging cunt who whines and complains about the slightest inconvenience, other say “Transformers? Do what now?” That one gay dude said:

“Megan only got $800,000 for Transformers 2,” claims a robot-flick insider very familiar with Fox’s personal and professional dealings. “I heard her say she only got $800,000 several times, and, I guarantee you, that’s why she didn’t do the third one. She wanted more money.” While Megan may not have been paid equal to, say, Shia LaBeouf, another source tells us the money stuff isn’t true. “She got paid way more than that,” says a close Fox friend and ally. “This was never about money. It’s always been how she was treated as a human being, it just wasn’t good.” No discrepancy on that from our Transformers source—like, at all: “[Megan] would constantly complain about having to go to work, she never wanted to do it,” dishes the franchise know-it-all. “Bay would constantly scream at her. He would scream at everyone, but especially Megan. Imagine a really, really bitchy grandmother on the set, and that’s what Michael Bay is like.” Calls to reps for both Bay and Fox have not been returned, as yet. M.B. certainly has the reputation around town of being very hard to work for, especially if you’re a woman. Our Transformers insider says Megan told him: “All [Bay] wants to do is shoot my ass and my tits, I hate him!’” While Megan’s mouthing-off ways may helped seal her Transformers 3 fate, our Fox insider adds Megan would have “never” gone back, anyway. “Not the way she was treated.”

I believe anything a hot chick tells me, so screw you Michael Bay. Although, all I want to do is shoot on her tits and ass, so I might not be the most qualified to present a valid argument.

Megan Fox’s tits in Jennifer’s Body:

A lot has been made of Megan Fox’s departure of Transformers 3. Some blame it on her being a raging cunt who whines and complains about the slightest inconvenience, other…

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