It really is with no small sense of pride that I say that I have never watched one single episode of The Jersey Shore, and trust me when I say that unless any of these idiots gets beheaded or becomes a suicide bomber, this is the last time any of them will appear on this site. I’m only putting these up because one of the “stars” of the show, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was photographed at an MTV party this weekend. Please take a look at these pictures, because apparently it’s not okay to punch the living shit out of this bitch. I’m glad somebody told me, because I didn’t realize it would be considered violence against women, I just have a thing for punching obnoxious assholes. Sometimes obnoxious assholes have tanning bed lines and tits, sometimes they don’t. I think it’s important as a society that we work diligently to break down the long-standing social injustice that says women can’t get their ass beat for being douchebags. The modern woman has worked hard to earn that right, so why should we take away those civil liberties? Who are you, Nacy Pelosi all of a sudden? Don’t you dare tell Snooki that her obituary can’t include the words “hammer strike” and “temple”. How dare you sir try to legislate a woman’s right to choose?! How dare you sir!