Miranda Kerr Has GQ Outtakes By todd January 30, 2010

My completely normal, not weird at all obsession with Miranda Kerr has been fully documented on this site, so of course I’m going to post the outtakes of her GQ shoot (see it here). Just like how I of course want your sister to sell her baby. To be honest, anybody could have got her pregnant. She’s kind of a slut, dude.

My completely normal, not weird at all obsession with Miranda Kerr has been fully documented on this site, so of course I’m going to post the outtakes of her GQ…

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Jessica Links By todd January 30, 2010

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The New York Times called Christina Hendricks fat. [Popeater]
Milli Vanilli: 20 years later [Popeater]
Marisa Miller is bootylicious [Popoholic]
Ali Larter upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie]
Katrina Bowden’s ass is now in movies [Egotastic]
How to date a college cheerleader [COED Magazine]
Maddox Jolie-Pitt wants to fuck Kim Kardashian [Celebslam]
The least true thing you have ever heard [Cele|bitchy]
Weed is the best medicine [Cityrag]
It’s just a scratch. A horrible, infectious scratch [College Humor]
Kate Moss is alive [Heyman Hustle]

Hot ass Dollar Tree Megan Fox, Jessica Lowndes at the 1st Annual Data Awards.

The New York Times called Christina Hendricks fat. [Popeater] Milli Vanilli: 20 years later [Popeater] Marisa Miller is bootylicious [Popoholic] Ali Larter upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie] Katrina Bowden’s ass is now…

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Lucy Pinder Is Nuts By todd January 30, 2010



Screw it, I’m just gonna post tits all day because I’m lazy, so here’s Lucy Pinder in the current issue of the appropriately titled, NUTS magazine. Say what you want about her face, but when she dies I’m pretty sure her rack will be dipped in gold and put on a satin pillow and her obituary will include the phrase “gallons of semen”.


BLAH BLAH BLAH

Screw it, I’m just gonna post tits all day because I’m lazy, so here’s Lucy Pinder in the current issue of the appropriately titled, NUTS magazine. Say what you want…

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Kelly Andrews Is New Here By todd January 30, 2010



I’m snowed in and can’t go anywhere, so to prove my love for you, here’s glamour model and Zoo favorite, Kelly Andrews. People make a big deal if you dig a homeless man out of some rubble in Haiti, but white girls with big tits who take pictures with their clothes off are the unsung heroes my friends. If Kelly Andrews was answering phones at the telethon, Haiti would have a Starbucks and a Nordstrom by now.


BANNER PIC. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I’m snowed in and can’t go anywhere, so to prove my love for you, here’s glamour model and Zoo favorite, Kelly Andrews. People make a big deal if you dig…

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I Need This Job By todd January 29, 2010

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While Haiti is regrowing it’s economy by becoming the world’s chief exporter of Soylent Green, I am hopeful that American will rebound and start creating jobs for the more than 30 million Americans who watch TV all day. I already have three jobs, so I’m good, but if Miranda Kerr is hiring somebody to pull her bikini out of her ass, I’d be more than happy to apply. Patron shots aren’t gonna pay for themselves you know.

While Haiti is regrowing it’s economy by becoming the world’s chief exporter of Soylent Green, I am hopeful that American will rebound and start creating jobs for the more than…

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Keeley Hazell Is Helpful By todd January 28, 2010

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Keeley Hazell is in next month’s issue of ZOO in her version of a Snuggie, and I’m not advocating every woman gets breast implants, and although that’s not true, but if you could make an appointment for a consultation and take this picture (NSFW) with you, that would be fantastic. I don’t want to scare you, but I’m running for President in 2012 and all women below a C-cup are going to be locked in a detainment camp until the prison colony on Mars is built. Because, really, nobody wants to see that.

Keeley Hazell is in next month’s issue of ZOO in her version of a Snuggie, and I’m not advocating every woman gets breast implants, and although that’s not true, but…

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Jessica Simpson Is Classy, Farts During a Meeting By todd January 28, 2010

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It may have been the tater tot sausage cheese fudge burrito she had earlier that day, but Jessica Simpson busted ass in the middle of a business meeting earlier this week. I can’t be the only one turned on right now. Us Magazine reports:

A source tells Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson had a, ahem, windy moment during a business meeting for her denim line in late January. “While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart,” says the insider. “Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, ‘Jessica!’ The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say.”

Christ, this chick is a mess. I would say just drop her off in the woods somewhere but she would probably find the Berenstain Bears’ tree and ask if she could use the phone to order some General Tso’s chicken. Oh, and eggrolls. Don’t forget extra eggrolls!

It may have been the tater tot sausage cheese fudge burrito she had earlier that day, but Jessica Simpson busted ass in the middle of a business meeting earlier this…

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Tiger Is A Freak By todd January 28, 2010



Call-girl Loredana Jolie (this chickNSFW), one of Tiger’s parade of whores, is shopping a tell-all book
New York Post reports:

“He would engage in sex from 9 p.m. until the sun came up the next morning. But he wasn’t a healthy guy. He couldn’t sleep and would stay up all night. I am not really sure rehab for sex addiction will help him,” Jolie told Page Six yesterday… “Tiger’s sexual fantasies were not normal,” the wannabe author says. “He likes role-playing, he likes to be the guy in control and wearing a suit while there are girls performing girl-on-girl and guys entertaining guys. By that, I mean they would dance for each other like girls would do for a man,” the would-be author claimed. “He’d have different girls all the time, entertaining, role play, fetishes, stuff like that . . . But he would only watch . . . He would also ask me to text him pictures of myself when we weren’t together.” Braun, who first revealed Loredana was one of Tiger’s favorite girls, told us, “The girls would tell me what went on with Tiger and I never heard of any men. He always asked for girls and liked threesomes. But I wouldn’t be surprised by anything. He had male friends, and I am sure they got involved.”

Really? That’s freaky? Am I missing something? Sorta like the Vietnamese prostitute in my hot tub who’s missing a head? Hey, it’s not my fault she couldn’t pronounce the safe word.

Call-girl Loredana Jolie (this chick – NSFW), one of Tiger’s parade of whores, is shopping a tell-all book New York Post reports: “He would engage in sex from 9 p.m….

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Katharine McPhee Is Better By todd January 28, 2010

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Katharine McPhee forgot for a while that she was the hottest piece of ass ever on American Idol after married some old dude and chopped all her hair off and dyed it blonde, but according to my penis, she’s back to being hot again. And my penis is always right. He has several advanced degrees and is a formidable foe in games of strategy such as Chess and Risk.

Katharine McPhee forgot for a while that she was the hottest piece of ass ever on American Idol after married some old dude and chopped all her hair off and…

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Greene Links By todd January 28, 2010



Black Eye Peas stole “Boom Boom Pow” [Popeater]
Pete Doherty brought heroin to court [Popeater]
Michelle Trachtenberg gets naughty for Complex [Popoholic]
Chantelle Broughton upskirt (NSFW ads) [TaxiDriver Movie]
Lindsay’s topless pics are bigger [Egostastic]
Sexy girls in pigtails Vol. 2 [COED Magazine]
Dominique Piek T&A [Celebslam]
Joe Francis is Tila Tequila’s baby daddy [Cele|bitchy]
Peaches Geldof is slutty [Cityrag]
7 Terrible Things To Say During Sex [College Humor]
Shauna Sand is busty, unattractive [Heyman Hustle]
Jessica Pare is topless [Fatback Media]
Celebrity Babe Image Gallery [Spiked Humor]

Banner Pic: My wife, Ashley Greene, in Saavy Magazine

Black Eye Peas stole “Boom Boom Pow” [Popeater] Pete Doherty brought heroin to court [Popeater] Michelle Trachtenberg gets naughty for Complex [Popoholic] Chantelle Broughton upskirt (NSFW ads) [TaxiDriver Movie] Lindsay’s…

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