Angelina Was A Lolita

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If you were dating some chick and her 16-year old daughter looked like the banner picture, you’d hit it right? Of course you would. The Sun reports:

Controversial writer ANDREW MORTON alleges that the star slept with MARCHELINE BERTRAND’S live-in lover when she was just 16. Angelina was devastated when her mother died of cancer, in 2007, at the age of 56. Reports in Now magazine claim that the two women struggled to rebuild their relationship after the Changeling star confessed to the night of passion. “Marcheline had a live-in boyfriend whom she was very much in love with, but Ange slept with him when she was 16 and barely out of school,” said a source. “Her mother found out and ended her relationship with the man. “When Ange admitted the story to her brother JAMES just a few weeks ago, even he turned on her. She has hardly anyone left in life who likes or trusts her.”

Seriously, can you blame this guy? He was banging Angelina Jolie before she had more dicks inside her than a frat house. He was like the settlers coming to the New World or the discovery of Australopithecus. You know, except with way bigger tits.

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