Megan Fox Is Evil By todd October 30, 2009

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My completely normal, not weird at all obsession with Megan Fox was just about over, but then she decided to go shopping in LA yesterday in these ridiculously short shorts. I’m not even going to get into what I would do to this chick, but you might have seen it on an episode of Law & Order: SVU.

My completely normal, not weird at all obsession with Megan Fox was just about over, but then she decided to go shopping in LA yesterday in these ridiculously short shorts….

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Kim Kardashian Is Getting Married Too By todd October 30, 2009

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Apparently inspired by her sister Kong’s shotgun wedding to LA Laker’s forward, Lamar Odom, Kim Kardashian cornered Reggie Bush and nagged him until he said yes. National Enquirer reports:

Inspired by sister Khloe’s extravagant “wedding”, Kim Kardashian has secretly started planning her own wedding to BF Reggie Bush, say sources. Kim and the New Orleans Saints running back – who split in July amid charges they had both cheated – are back together and happier than ever after rekindling their love affair in August, say friends of the couple. “Kim and Reggie haven’t looked back since reuniting,” said a friend of the couple. “They’re already making wedding plans.” Kim is the one who popped the question – sort of. “After they got back together, Kim was determined to pin him down on marriage,” explained the friend. “So while visiting him in New Orleans following Khloe’s wedding, Kim brought up the subject of walking down the aisle. “She was totally surprised when Reggie said, ‘Yes, let’s do it!’”

Man, I hope I get invited to this wedding. Especially for the giftbags. I’ve always wanted to try Swisher Sweets and cocoa butter.

I know I’ve said it before, but this can be the only possible reason he said yes:

Apparently inspired by her sister Kong’s shotgun wedding to LA Laker’s forward, Lamar Odom, Kim Kardashian cornered Reggie Bush and nagged him until he said yes. National Enquirer reports: Inspired…

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She’s 16 By todd October 30, 2009

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Radar Online has found long lost modeling photos of Angelina Jolie when she was a 16-year old model with the Finesse Model Management agency. And just to revisit this post, you now have a visual of what this dude was banging. I’m not even sure a judge would prosecute if he saw this walk in the courtroom. In a more likely scenario, the courtroom doors would close behind you and a disco ball would drop from the ceiling then the judge would plug in his iPod and start making margaritas.

Radar Online has found long lost modeling photos of Angelina Jolie when she was a 16-year old model with the Finesse Model Management agency. And just to revisit this post,…

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Grace Park Has Outtakes By todd October 30, 2009

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I have a favorite Asian now, so I guess it’s fitting that I post Grace Park’s outtakes from her insanely hot Maxim photoshoot with Tricia Helfer. I like to eat sushi like it’s my job, so I guess Asian chicks seem like a natural progression.

I have a favorite Asian now, so I guess it’s fitting that I post Grace Park’s outtakes from her insanely hot Maxim photoshoot with Tricia Helfer. I like to eat…
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Heidilicious By todd October 30, 2009

Apparently there's a book called Rankin’s Heidilicious, and in that book is pages filled with naked pictures of Heidi Klum. Maybe if the Bible would have thought of that we wouldn't be in this mess right now. Nice work, God.

Apparently there's a book called Rankin’s Heidilicious, and in that book is pages filled with naked pictures of Heidi Klum. Maybe if the Bible would have thought of that we…

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Rosie Jones In Front By todd October 30, 2009

I have no idea why I haven't moved to Great Britain yet, because with Kelly Brook, Gemma Atkinson, Lucy Pinder, Sophie Howard, Keeley Hazell, Vikki Blows, and Lauren, God seemed to mark that island as the land flowing with hot white chicks with big tits. Like Rosie Jones. I guess the only reason I haven't moved there yet is because I hate Socialism and Muslims. No, wait, I meant effeminate pansies with bad teeth. No, no I meant nannies who practice witchcraft. Crap, I'm not really good at this am I?

 

I have no idea why I haven't moved to Great Britain yet, because with Kelly Brook, Gemma Atkinson, Lucy Pinder, Sophie Howard, Keeley Hazell, Vikki Blows, and Lauren, God seemed…

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It Got Way Gayer By todd October 30, 2009



Adam Lambert released the title track from his debut album, For Your Entertainment, this morning and oh holy shit this is gayest thing I’ve ever heard. I was going to say something, but it was so bad it offended even me, so I’m just gonna post some of the lyrics. Draw your conclusions as to what I was gonna say.

Let’s go
It’s my show
Baby, do what I say
Don’t trip
off the bits that I’m gonna display
I told you
I’ma hold you down until you’re amazed
Give it to you ’til you’re screaming my name

No escaping when we start
Once I’m in I hold your heart
There’s no way I’ll ring the alarm
So hold on ’til it’s over

Adam Lambert released the title track from his debut album, For Your Entertainment, this morning and oh holy shit this is gayest thing I’ve ever heard. I was going to…

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Malin Akerman Is A Lady By todd October 30, 2009

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The Stockholm, Sweden premiere of Couples Retreat was Wednesday night, and star Malin Akerman was so excited about it that she got out of her car like she thought it was an OB/GYN exam. I’m not sure why she thought this was a good idea. My Craigslist ad says I give them for free in a clean, discreet environment. So discreet the cops can’t find it. Hit me up, ladies!

The Stockholm, Sweden premiere of Couples Retreat was Wednesday night, and star Malin Akerman was so excited about it that she got out of her car like she thought it…

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Alessandra Ambrosio Is For No Reason By todd October 29, 2009

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Alessandra Ambrosio was in St. Barths doing a shoot for Victoria’s Secret yesterday, and there shouldn’t be a question at this point that she is one of the most beautiful women in the world. The only question at this point is will my Kicked Up Chocolate Cream Pie win the blue ribbon at the State Fair this year?! Wish me luck guys, I’m so nervous!!!

Alessandra Ambrosio was in St. Barths doing a shoot for Victoria’s Secret yesterday, and there shouldn’t be a question at this point that she is one of the most beautiful…

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It’s About Damn Time By todd October 29, 2009

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Either his family got freed from their captors or Josh Duhamel finally realized he was married to the banner picture, because it’s being reported that he’s been cheating on her. When asked for comment on what it’s been like to have been married to Fergie for 10 month his penis said,”AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” National Enquirer says:

In a blockbuster exclusive interview, the red-hot exotic dancer provided all the details of her marathon sex session with the handsome actor she said is “the best lover” she ever had. Josh tied the knot with the 34-year-old Black Eyed Peas singer this past January. But stripper Nicole Forrester – who passed a lie detector test and whose story was confirmed by independent sources – told The ENQUIRER that marriage to super sexy Fergie didn’t stop the actor from hooking up with her. Josh, 36, first met the dancer in early October at Atlanta’s totally nude club Tattletales Lounge, where she performs under the name “Delilah.” The actor was in Georgia filming the romantic comedy Life As We Know It. Days after they met, Josh, who starred on NBC’s “Las Vegas” for five years, invited the blue-eyed beauty back to his $820-a-night hotel room at the St. Regis hotel – touching off an X-rated tryst that lasted until morning.

For his sake, let’s hope this is true, because Josh Duhamel is hotter than most of the chicks I’ve dated and Fergie looks like something a Rabbi animated from clay. I’m not even halfway joking when I say I’d rather stick my dick in a mouse trap.

Note: Of course his publicist is denying it. That’s what publicists do.

Either his family got freed from their captors or Josh Duhamel finally realized he was married to the banner picture, because it’s being reported that he’s been cheating on her….

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