Screw You, Gwyneth

Just in case you wanted more reason to hate Gwyneth Paltrow, she now has a 33 room house. The Daily Mail reports:

Madonna has done it and Jamie Oliver too. Now Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin have become the latest celebrities to spread out into the house next door. After snapping up the property adjoining their London home, the couple are to create a £7million superhouse with 33 rooms.Pictures submitted with a planning application show the couple’s garden with a slide for daughter Apple, five, and son Moses, three. Plans show they intend to knock through the connecting walls to create eight rooms on the lower ground floor, six on the upper ground, five on the first floor and eight on the second floor. A two-storey extension at the side of the existing house includes a gym, changing room, three bedrooms and a bathroom. The couple moved out of the house in May to spend time in America. They own several other homes, including one in the Hamptons, near New York, but see the London property as their base because they want the children to have a British education. A neighbour said: ‘It will be a massive house. What they have already is a substantial family home, but to double and add a bit on will make it a real mansion.”

I’m not gonna lie, spelling and grammar are my white whale, but I’m not really sure that a British education would have helped that. Mostly because I’m a dumbass, but mainly because spelling shit with a “u” is retarded and based on movies I’ve seen, British kids have buckles on their shoes and tie their books together with belts. They also walk with canes and will die unless The Ghost of Christmas Future shows Scrooge how sick they are. What the hell is going on over there?!

And again, I have no idea what these pictures of Jenna Jameson have to do with Gwyneth Paltrow other than the fact that they aren’t of Gwyneth Paltrow. BTW, I don’t know if “Jenna Jamseon” gave it away, but these are NSFW:

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