Jessica Simpson Is Expensive By toddj July 31, 2009

[Gallery not found]

Jessica Simpson is a complete failure in everything that she touches, so of course VH1 would back up the truck for her new reality show. New York Post reports:

VH1 just found out how high “The Price of Beauty” can be. Jessica Simpson (above) is scheduled to start shooting the new show next week and travel to seven countries examining exotic beauty regimens. But VH1 isn’t happy with her budget. “To get her camera-ready each episode will cost $25,000,” said our source. “She insists on using her own hair, makeup and fashion stylists, who are more expensive than J.Lo’s.”

As you read that blockquote, please keep in mind that Jessica Simpson’s last two movies, Blonde Ambition (grossed $384 at the box office) and Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous (went straight to DVD) were complete failures. Also keep in mind that her last album, Do You Know, sold 65,000 copies in the first week then fell off the face of the Earth. And last month she got dumped a day before her birthday. VH1 would have a better chance making money if they spun straw into gold or bought some magic beans.

Jessica Simpson is a complete failure in everything that she touches, so of course VH1 would back up the truck for her new reality show. New York Post reports: VH1…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Katherine Heigl Is A Hypocrite By todd July 31, 2009

[Gallery not found]

Katherine Heigl was the third choice to play Alison Scott in Knocked Up, but instead of being thankful and gracious for the movie that made her a star, she took every opportunity to shit all over it, accusing it of being sexist towards women. Writer/director Judd Apatow and co-star Seth Rogen have never really said anything about it. Until now. US Magazine reports:

But Rogen says he doesn’t see how Heigl’s new comedy, The Ugly Truth, makes women look even better. “That [movie] looks like it really puts women on a pedestal in a beautiful way,” he quipped on Howard Stern’s SIRIUS XM radio show on Thursday. Added Apatow, “I hear there’s a scene where she’s wearing … Underwear …with a vibrator in it, so I’d have to see if that was uplifting for women.” Apatow figured Heigl was “probably was doing six hours of interviews and kissing everyone’s ass, and then just got tired and slipped a little bit” when she made the remarks to Vanity Fair. Regardless, Rogen said, “I didn’t slip and I was doing fucking interviews all day too … I didn’t say shit!” Even more baffling, said Apatow, “We never had a ‘fight’” with Heigl while filming. “Seth always says, it doesn’t make any sense [because] she improvised half her shit,” Apatow said, adding that she “could not have been cooler.” Apatow said he hasn’t spoken to Heigl since her remarks. He doesn’t know if he’d make a big deal about it, either. “It all depends on how much coffee I have had that day,” he said. “If I was fighting … with someone else about something I may handle it wrong, and if I’m in like total Buddha mood, I’d be like ‘I feel sad that she hasn’t learned the lesson of her journey yet,’” he said. After the remark, “[You think] at some point I’ll get a call saying ‘Sorry, I was tired…’ and then the call never comes,’” he said. Rogen said he doesn’t feel bad since Heigl seems to run her mouth and most people, including Grey’s Anatomy staff. “I gotta say it’s not like we’re the only people she said some batshit crazy things about,” he said. “That’s kind of her bag now.”

I’m so sick of this cunt that I really don’t feel like wasting time talking about how much I hate her, so I’ll just tell you guys about my fabulous new window treatments. I think the terra cotta really diffuses the natural light and highlights my unique sense of style and flair.

I’m only posting pictures of Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann, because they are a happily married model/actress from California and a brilliant comedy writer. I can’t seem to shake the parallels:

Katherine Heigl was the third choice to play Alison Scott in Knocked Up, but instead of being thankful and gracious for the movie that made her a star, she took…

Related Posts:

Tags: , , ,
Lindsay Lohan Has Lost Her Damn Mind By todd July 31, 2009

[Gallery not found]

Who in the hell knows why or how, but in the magical land of delusion and insanity that Lindsay Lohan calls a mind, she truly believes that she is the second coming of Marilyn Monroe. I’ll repeat that: Lindsay Lohan believes she is Marilyn Monroe. Since she has no concept of reality, she is pitching a remake of Monroe’s Some Like It Hot, to studio heads with her as the star. You’ll never guess the reaction! San Francisco Chronicle reports:

Sources close to Lohan claims she sees real parallels between her life and that of the Monroe and is pitching a remake to Hollywood bosses. According to OK! magazine, director Brett Ratner has already rejected the idea, but Lohan isn’t giving up. An insider tells the tabloid, “Lindsay is pinning her hopes on getting a remake of ‘Some Like It Hot’ off the ground. “She’s undaunted, but there’s no script and there’s no money. The only thing Lindsay has to sell is herself. “She sees herself as the second coming of Marilyn Monroe — misunderstood, talented and in desperate need of an incredible film vehicle that will truly showcase her talents.”

So to reiterate, there’s no script, no director, no money, and no chance in hell Lindsay Lohan will ever be a movie star again. The only thing Lindsay Lohan will ever star in again is an airtighting instruction video.

Lindsay Lohan playing pretend. You can also see Lindsay’s nude recreation of a classic Marilyn photoshoot here and here (NSFW):

Who in the hell knows why or how, but in the magical land of delusion and insanity that Lindsay Lohan calls a mind, she truly believes that she is the…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Christian Bale Is A Good Actor, Insane By todd July 31, 2009

[Gallery not found]

Say what you want about Christian Bale, but when the guy takes a role, he takes the role. In his lastest film, The Fighter, Bale plays a crackhead boxer named Dicky Eklund. Guess what he did. People reports:

Known for his uncanny ability to re-sculpt his body for his movie roles, the Welsh-born actor, who just last month looked handsome and healthy, has gone to extremes to portray fighter Dicky Eklund, opposite Mark Wahlberg and Amy Adams. “I will adjust to what is needed. But only if I have quite an obsession for the role,” Bale told PEOPLE in 2005.Bale revealed he relied on a diet of apples, coffee and cigarettes for his role as insomniac, Trevor Reznik, in The Machinist. The actor lost 63 pounds for the film, which was a third of body weight. Five months after that weight-defying role, Bale switched gears and bulked up for his superhero turn as Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins. A feat that put a lot of pressure on his body – both physically and emotionally. “I think that putting weight on – unfortunately I had to put it on pretty fast and it’s not really healthy doing that – is when I felt bad. I put on 100 pounds in like five months,” Bale said at the time. “You get big mood swings and everything with it.”

The banner picture is one of the first pictures released from the set, and as you can see, he looks like hell. He looked like this for The Machinist, and other than Daniel Day-Lewis, Bale is the only actor working today who will go to any lengths to portray a character. If Cameron Diaz or Jennifer Aniston got a role playing a cancer patient, they’d probably read a pamphlet or the warning on a cigarette pack. Christian Bale would actually dig up Farrah Fawcett and smoke her.

Say what you want about Christian Bale, but when the guy takes a role, he takes the role. In his lastest film, The Fighter, Bale plays a crackhead boxer named…

Related Posts:

Tags:
I Bet She’d Be A Good Mom By todd July 30, 2009



Apparently since I’m a weeping vagina who knows nothing about parenting, Imogen Thomas’ tits are gonna help me get back to what I’m good at. That’s because Imogen Thomas was at a pool in Spain yesterday and decided to take her top off. I don’t know what you would call that kind of person, but she should be getting a medal from Princess Leia at the end of Star Wars.

You can see the rest of the pics HERE. And if you haven’t picked up on it yet, they’re are NSFW.

Apparently since I’m a weeping vagina who knows nothing about parenting, Imogen Thomas’ tits are gonna help me get back to what I’m good at. That’s because Imogen Thomas was…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Mel Gibson Is A Violent Criminal By todd July 30, 2009

[Gallery not found]

Mel Gibson was at a club with his pregnant girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, last night when he violently attacked a photographer who was trying to take his picture. Only except he didn’t. TMZ reports:

Law enforcement sources tell us the man who filed a battery claim against Mel Gibson is making the story up and no criminal charges will be pursued. We’re told after interviewing the man — who claims Gibson tore his shirt after he attempted to take a picture of the star at Playhouse in Hollywood — cops believe it was impossible for Gibson to have even made contact with him. They tell us Gibson was wedged in a booth with his pregnant girlfriend and couldn’t have grabbed the guy’s shirt. We’re told the “victim” was asked to walk away at least 3 times before the alleged incident. Security told him no photography was allowed in the club, but he persisted. Cops say witnesses tell the same story — the guy is making up allegations of battery. No one saw his shirt ripped when he left the club. Cops say it’s a civil matter at best, and they don’t expect to even interview Gibson.

So basically this douchebag tried to take a picture, he got asked to leave three times and when he didn’t, security threw his ass out and ripped his shirt then he threw a hissy fit and went crying to the police. You got your shirt ripped, jackass. Get over it. Be glad it wasn’t worse. Because if my pregnant girlfriend was sitting at a table and you tried this shit, then only person you’d be crying to would be a nurse. Because I’d assume your morphine drip was running low.

Mel Gibson was at a club with his pregnant girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, last night when he violently attacked a photographer who was trying to take his picture. Only except he…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Katherine Jackson To Get Full Custody By todd July 30, 2009



In a deal that was reached early this morning, Michael Jackson’s mother, 79-year old Katherie Jackson, has been awarded fully custody of his three “children”. People reports:

“There is no situation better for these children than for them to be raised and reared in the loving care of Mrs. Katherine Jackson,” L. Londell McMillan said. He added that the issue of Debbie Rowe, who is the mother of two of the children – Prince Michael I, 12, and Paris, 11 – will be detailed in an announcement to come shortly. As for speculation that the King of Pop left his family with more debt than money, McMillan said there’s no reason for the children or his mother to worry about going broke.

I much as I hated the monster Michael Jackson had become and the monster Joe Jackson has always been, I have never read or heard a single bad word about Katherine Jackson. The only thing she has ever been guilty of is playing the demure silent wife, but it’s obvious that she was the only one to ever truly love Michael. So hopefully his kids will experience the same unconditional love for once in their lives. After all, no matter who their father is, they’re kids. They deserve to have the childhood their father never had. And, yes. I wasn’t a complete jackass in this post. Don’t get used to it.

In a deal that was reached early this morning, Michael Jackson’s mother, 79-year old Katherie Jackson, has been awarded fully custody of his three “children”. People reports: “There is no…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Stormy Daniels Is Reasonable By todd July 30, 2009

[Gallery not found]

Stormy Daniels is a porn star and a potential Senator representing the state of Louisiana. She also likes to beat her husband when he doesn’t fold the laundry in that special way. The Smoking Gun reports:

In a setback to her nascent U.S. Senate campaign, porn star Stormy Daniels (real name: Stephanie Clifford) was arrested Saturday afternoon for domestic violence after she allegedly battered her husband because she was “upset because the way the laundry had been done.” Clifford, who has said she is interested in challenging Republican David Vitter next year for his Senate seat from Louisiana, was nabbed for striking her husband “Michael on his head with her hands several times,” according to a Tampa Bay Police Department report. Clifford, 30, told cops that she did not intentionally hit her husband, but acknowledged tossing a potted plant in the kitchen sink, throwing the couple’s wedding album on the floor, and breaking some candles. The adult film actress, pictured in the below mug shot, was briefly booked into the Hillsborough County jail, where she was later released on $1000 bond. Clifford, who decided to challenge Vitter after the incumbent admitted patronizing a prostitution ring, has formed an exploratory committee in her home state of Louisiana. Its slogan is “Stormy Daniels: Screwing People Honestly.”

Wow. There’s not many times in life where you can find true love with a chick who takes it up the ass by random dudes then comes home to beat your head in. Man, how did this guy do it!? Just lucky I guess!

CLICK HERE to see what Stormy Daniels does during her day job. And if you’ve never believed me when I said pictures were NSFW, you should really, really, really believe me this time. (btw, I give pic #6 a thumbs up)

Stormy Daniels is a porn star and a potential Senator representing the state of Louisiana. She also likes to beat her husband when he doesn’t fold the laundry in that…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Keeley Hazell Is Back By todd July 30, 2009



Keeley Hazell hasn’t been on here in a while, so it’s time to all change that. Especially since she has the greatest pair of tits in the known galaxy. I swear, if my penis got anywhere inside this chick, I’d blow so hard she’d look like a dolphin.

Click the banner picture to see the rest of the NSFW gallery or click HERE to see God’s miraculous wonders.

Keeley Hazell hasn’t been on here in a while, so it’s time to all change that. Especially since she has the greatest pair of tits in the known galaxy. I…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Megan Fox Is Banned By todd July 29, 2009
[Gallery not found]


I’m totally self-important and think everything revolves around me, so this is probably my fault. You’re welcome. The New York Daily News reports:

It may seem unlikely, but the men of America are sick of Megan Fox. A dozen male-focused Web sites including AOL’s men’s lifestyle/humor site Asylum.com — as well as Ask Men, Just a Guy Thing and Double Viking — have sanctioned Aug. 4 as a Megan Fox media blackout day. Why the diss? All the editors feel the starlet has become a bit too overexposed — and they’re not just talking about her fashion sense. Fox has appeared on the covers of Esquire, Empire, Maxim, GQ UK, Entertainment Weekly and Elle this year alone, plus she did heavy press for her role as Mikaela Banes in “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” “You can have too much of a good thing,” says AskMen.com’s Editor-in-Chief James Bassil, who tells us, “We’re joining in the media blackout and giving our readers a one-day reprieve from the woman we’ve been drowning in all summer.”

My totally normal, not weird at all obsession with Megan Fox is fully documented on this site, so I won’t tell you how the very mention of a one day ban on Megan Fox shakes me to my very core. Some may call it a phase (some of you may remember my Jessica Biel, Keira Knightley, and Keeley Hazell deals), but the fact that she’s dating the wigger from 90210 gives me hope. I mean, he’s Brian Austin Green. At best, he should be on television in a gorilla costume, standing next to a giant inflatable Uncle Sam telling me how I could get 0% financing on this new Ford F-150. He’ll even take my trade no matter how much I owe!

I’m totally self-important and think everything revolves around me, so this is probably my fault. You’re welcome. The New York Daily News reports: It may seem unlikely, but the men…

Related Posts:

Tags: