True Blood is Vampire Porn

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When Anne Rice isn’t turning them into effeminate metros and Stephanie Meyers isn’t making them sensitive, misunderstood gaywads, vampires are generally pretty kick ass. They sleep, they drink blood, and they sometimes teach kids simple mathematical concepts through their addiction to counting. That’s why True Blood is one of the best shows on television. Vampire Bill is equal parts Louis and Leatherface, an enamored protector and a crazed, vicious killer. Oh, and he had sex with Anna Paquin in last night’s season premiere. I’m not really sure how that works out since his penis probably feels like a frozen Push-Pop, but hey, whatever. These pictures might as well be of Anna Paquin having sex with Batman or the orangutan from Shirt Tales. You know, or something else that doesn’t exist.

You can see the NSFW pics HERE, but be warned, Anna Paquin is completely naked. Also be warned of bears. Keep food well away from tent and kayaks; preferably 12 feet off the ground at least 100 feet away.

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