Billy Mays Died By todd June 28, 2009



TV pitchman, Billy Mays, who sold everything but slaves, was found dead this morning by his wife in his Tampa Bay home. He was 50. St. Petersburg Times reports:

Mays, 50, was pronounced dead at 7:45 a.m. in his gated neighborhood near the Westshore Yacht Club, said Tampa police spokeswoman Laura McElroy. He told his family he wasn’t feeling well Saturday and went to sleep early at 10 p.m., McElroy said. His wife, Deborah Mays, found him unresponsive this morning. “This is a very tragic case. Billy Mays was in the prime of his life, the prime of his career,” McElroy said. “As you can imagine the family is devastated.” Mays is survived by his wife, a three-year-old daughter and a stepson in his 20s, McElroy said. The Medical Examiner’s Office will complete Mays’ autopsy by tomorrow afternoon. “Although Billy lived a public life, we don’t anticipate making any public statements over the next couple of days,” Deborah Mays said in a statement today. “Our family asks that you respect our privacy during these difficult times.”

I’m not sure how IDLYITW turned into an obituary column, but I guess I have nothing against Billy Mays. I never heard of him beating women or fondling kids or having a private island where he hunted homeless people for sport. He just genuinely seemed like he loved selling shit. That works out in his favor, because I have no control when it comes to buying shit. If I saw a commercial for bear trap seat covers, I’d have to at least buy one in every color.

TV pitchman, Billy Mays, who sold everything but slaves, was found dead this morning by his wife in his Tampa Bay home. He was 50. St. Petersburg Times reports: Mays,…
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90210 Has a Nice Set By todd June 26, 2009

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I really can’t relate to a show about rich white kids with problems, so it’s safe to say that I’ve never watched and episode of 90210. Maybe I should. I like ice cream.

I really can’t relate to a show about rich white kids with problems, so it’s safe to say that I’ve never watched and episode of 90210. Maybe I should. I…

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Megan Fox Might Help By todd June 26, 2009

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In this time of tragedy and loss, it’s always good to reflect on the beauty in life and try to remember that life is fleeting and we should appreciate each moment like it was our last. Or whatever gay shit I can say that would be a good intro to post pictures of Megan Fox and her hot ass leaving The Late Show with David Letterman last night. I realize I post about this whore way too much, and I probably won’t for a while, but do you really want another Michael Jackson post? You can’t. I mean, just look at the banner picture. Megan seems rather offended by your suggestion.

In this time of tragedy and loss, it’s always good to reflect on the beauty in life and try to remember that life is fleeting and we should appreciate each…

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Michael Jackson’s Doctor is Missing By todd June 26, 2009



It has been confirmed that Michael Jackson received a daily shot of Demerol, and that his family was attempting to put him in a drug treatment facility in Palmdale, California for his addiction to morphine and other painkillers. This may come as a complete surprise, but the doctor who administered those daily shots is nowhere to be found. Gee, I wonder why? TMZ reports:

We’ve learned law enforcement is looking for a doctor who lived at Michael Jackson’s home — and the doctor is nowhere to be found. Law enforcement sources tell us a BMW belonging to the doctor was towed from Jackson’s home last night. Cops are looking to interview the doc. A law enforcement source says the doctor gave Jackson an injection before he died.

I was just told last night that I might be a little too sensitive and caring towards others, but wow, a daily shot of Demerol? What, was Michael Jackson injured Vietnam or a cage fighter or something? I’m pretty sure we would have heard about that by now. I don’t think a shark attack victim or Robocop would get a daily intravenous narcotic for twenty years. I admit, those gold tassels on his shoulder pads and carrying that umbrella probably put a heavy strain on his back, but light stretching may have helped. Of course, I got my medical license in Malaysia, so there’s a good chance I have no idea what I’m talking about.

It has been confirmed that Michael Jackson received a daily shot of Demerol, and that his family was attempting to put him in a drug treatment facility in Palmdale, California…

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Michael Jackson Might Have Overdosed on Demerol By todd June 26, 2009

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Although this has yet to be confirmed, Michael Jackson apparently went into cardiac arrest after injecting himself with a large dose of Demerol. The Sun reports:

An Emergency Room source at UCLA hospital said Jackson aides told medics he had collapsed after an injection of potent Demerol — similar to morphine. A Jacko source said: “Shortly after taking the Demerol he started to experience slow shallow breathing. “His breathing gradually got slower and slower until it stopped. “His staff started mouth-to-mouth and an ambulance was called which got there in eight minutes “But found he was in full respiratory arrest, no breathing and no pulse. They started full CPR and rushed him to hospital. “When he arrived they started resuscitation, giving him heart shocks and inserted a breathing tube and other supportive measures to try and save his life. “He never regained consciousness.The family was told that he had passed.”

After Jackson got severely burned while shooting a Pepsi commercial back in 1984, he became addicted to painkillers (one of those being Demerol) and was admitted to the Betty Ford Clinic. Also, during his child molestation trial, Demerol and other drug paraphernalia were found in Jackson’s home by police. Man, this is depressing. It can’t be drugs can it? Because I thought for sure Michael Jackson’s heart stopped because it was tired of giving so much love to the world.

I recently became a fan of Anderson Cooper, so here is a clip of him telling a story about when he was 10 and meeting Michael Jackson at Studio 54. Only one of you will get this, but this video is the hardest thing I’ve ever posted. :)

Although this has yet to be confirmed, Michael Jackson apparently went into cardiac arrest after injecting himself with a large dose of Demerol. The Sun reports: An Emergency Room source…

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Michael Jackson Had a Heart Attack By todd June 25, 2009

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UPDATE: Hey, Todd here. Although I appreciate the death threats and your eagerness to rape my family because I’m making light of the death of a guy who wouldn’t have given a fuck whether you existed or not, but me being dead won’t change the fact that he was a drug addict who would have probably asked your son to pull his pants down in exchange for some cotton candy and a ride on his ferris wheel. Sorry.:(

JOURNALISTIC UPDATE: A friend of mine says his doctor buddies in LA say that Jackson was a hardcore junkie for years and they had him on their unofficial dead pool. At least his withdrawal symptoms won’t be so bad now. Brightside!

I guess molesting little boys isn’t like eating Cheerios or taking aspirin, because Michael Jackson had a heart attack today. And it’s not looking good. TMZ reports:

We’ve just learned Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance to a hospital in Los Angeles … and we’re told it was cardiac arrest and that paramedics administered CPR in the ambulance … and it’s looking bad.

He was picked up at his home around 20 minutes ago — we’re told his mother is on the way to visit him.

UPDATE: The 911 call came in at 12:21PM at his Holmby Hills home in L.A.

UPDATE: A Jackson family member tells TMZ Michael is in “really bad shape” and the brothers are headed to UCLA.

UPDATE: We just got off the phone with Joe Jackson, Michael’s dad, who says “he is not doing well.”

Say what you want about his fucked up childhood or whatever, but there comes a point where you become a grown man and have to deal with your own issues. Instead, Michael Jackson insulated himself with his untold fortunes and massive fame so he could fondle sick kids in his amusement park house. So if having a heart attack slows him up from getting a new plate at the little boy buffet, then I’m okay with that. He’s supposedly in really bad shape, but I just checked my watch. As it turns out, I don’t care.

UPDATE: He’s dead.

A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived. LaToya ran in the hospital sobbing, after Jackson was pronounced dead. Michael is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince “Blanket” Michael Jackson II.

Yeah, this post was a little mean or whatever, because really, nothing I could say would be as funny as Katt Williams anyway:

UPDATE: Hey, Todd here. Although I appreciate the death threats and your eagerness to rape my family because I’m making light of the death of a guy who wouldn’t have…

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Farrah Fawcett Will Probably Die Today By todd June 25, 2009

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Her two year battle with anal cancer apparently at an end, friends close to Farrah Fawcett fully expect her to pass away as early as today. Yikes. NYDN reports:

“I’m not sure if she’s going to make it through the day,” Walters said on Thursday’s “Good Morning America.” “She’s had her last rites.”

She was a little before my time, but from what I understand, if jacking off to Farrah Fawcett back in the 1970′s could have been converted to renewable energy, we’d no longer be dependent on foreign oil. So good job, Nixon and Carter. I’m gonna be leaving menus on Chinese people’s cars pretty soon because you failed to recognize the power of this chick’s tits.

Sorry about the shitty quality, but apparently finding decent hi-res pics of Farrah Fawcett requires some kind of advanced degree:

Her two year battle with anal cancer apparently at an end, friends close to Farrah Fawcett fully expect her to pass away as early as today. Yikes. NYDN reports: “I’m…

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Nice Pants, Baby By todd June 25, 2009

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Megan Fox left whatever that show Jimmy Fallon hosts the other day in a pair of the tightest jeans I’ve ever seen. I appreciate the effort, but how am I supposed to get my tongue in there, with a shoehorn? Sweetie, you really need to think about these things if want me to stand outside in your bushes anymore.

Megan Fox left whatever that show Jimmy Fallon hosts the other day in a pair of the tightest jeans I’ve ever seen. I appreciate the effort, but how am I…

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Katy Perry is Weird By todd June 25, 2009



When you’re a “singer” desperate for fame and attention with no discernible talent other than a nice rack, sometimes you do things like take a picture of you lying naked in a bathtub covered in pizza and post it on your Twitter. Like Katy Perry did yesterday. I realize she posted this to keep perpetuating her manufactured image of a quirky free spirit who doesn’t fit into your stereotypes or follow your rules, but you know all this bitch wanted is for people to say how bad they want to fuck her. Don’t get me wrong, I would, but my penis has exacting tastes. He enjoys intimate and stimulating conversation and a mutual connection based on love and like interests, not some chick who dresses in fruit. Sometimes I wonder if he really knows me at all.

When you’re a “singer” desperate for fame and attention with no discernible talent other than a nice rack, sometimes you do things like take a picture of you lying naked…

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