Lindsay Lohan is in Paris right now, but police were called to her residence in Hollywood yesterday after her alarm went off. At first, the police thought there was a break in and the intruders destroyed the house. Notice I said “at first”, because as it turns out, her house is always like that. AP reports:
An alarm company notified police that someone tripped an alarm at the house around 3 p.m. in Hollywood. Police determined no one entered the home and nothing was stolen, but the mess inside the starlet’s home prompted officers to ask, “Is it normally like this, or did the intruders do it?” said Los Angeles police Officer Karen Rayner. Lohan was not at home at the time. A message left with Lohan’s publicist Leslie Sloane-Zelnik was not immediately returned Tuesday night.
Sorry if you were thinking Lindsay Lohan lived like Tony Stark with a robot butler or a staff of housekeepers from Ecuador who keep her house pristine and flawless, because if you did, you’re kinda dumb. Lindsay Lohan is a drunk whore who lives off cocaine and semen. At best, her house looks like the the fat guy’s house in Se7en. I wouldn’t have been surprised if this police report included dead cats under the couch and a poem written on the wall in blood.
The Lohan whores in Paris: