Britney Spears is a Natural Beauty



Oftentimes when I retire to my study with a snifter of brandy and my thoughts, I read emails from our dear readers informing me that I have made a grave mistake in judging Britney Spears’ appearance. “Todd,” they say, “sure she may have dueling banjo eyes, but have you no compassion?” I sigh, for what they say is true, then I walk over to my roaring hearth and rest my elbow on the mantle as I take off my glasses dramatically. Could I have been wrong? Do I not know the face of true beauty? Will my heart ever find love again? Pardon me, my friends, while I open a great book and point to a page and nod. Pardon me while I skip rocks on a lake. I must take your leave, because it’s obvious I have some tough questions to answer.

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