Megan Fox is a Prostitute By todd May 31, 2009

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At this point, other than trying to get her half naked on their cover, I’m not sure why magazines want to interview Megan Fox. Because, well, chances are good that she wont make it five minutes without saying something really stupid. Congrats, British GQ! Showbiz Spy reports:

“When you think about it, we actors are kind of prostitutes,” Fox tells the July issue of British GQ. “We get paid to feign attraction and love. Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone, touching someone, doing things people in a normal monogamous relationship would never do with anyone who’s not their partner. It’s really kind of gross. “I have this sort of promiscuous image. People assume I’m really overtly sexually aggressive and that I’m this wild child. And I’m not like that at all. “I would rather have an image that is wild and promiscuous than to go out of my way to be proper all the time.“There are some guys who think I’m going to be this little cupcake who’s going to bat my eyes and be like a receptacle for them. I shut them down immediately.”

Ugh. Megan, I love you, I do, but baby, pretty please, shut the hell up. You want to know why people think you’re “overtly sexually aggressive”? Let’s see, hmm, maybe this? Or this? No wait, maybe this. Look, you can’t throw me an idea then say I have the wrong idea. Magazines aren’t claiming you’re Andrei Chikatilo or Jack The Ripper, you’re saying this stuff. I think you just need to take a long look in the mirror and think about what image you want to portray. Now turn around. Then squeeze your nipples for me. Oooh yeah, baby. You like that?

At this point, other than trying to get her half naked on their cover, I’m not sure why magazines want to interview Megan Fox. Because, well, chances are good that…

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Chris Brown is Optimistic By todd May 30, 2009

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Ready to put that whole business of choking out and kicking Rihanna’s ass behind him, Chris Brown thinks his upcoming album will be a masterpiece and people around the world will flock to the swap meet to buy it. People reports:

“Chris is focused,” says songwriter Robert Allen, who is working with Brown on his upcoming album, tentatively titled Graffiti. “He knows how to deal with whatever is going on and is willing to do what he has to do to please his fans.”…”You want to go away so your audience can miss you some,” Allen says of why Brown has laid low. “But he’s so happy and ready for this next album to break through and make a big impact. He wants this to be his masterpiece. He’s predicting this will be his biggest album.”

I agree, Chris Brown should go away for a while. Maybe he can be a contestant on The Running Man. Or maybe he can go to a Mars prison colony with one of those collars around his neck that explodes if he wanders out of the designated sector. Or we can throw him into a lion pit. Lions are cool!

Ready to put that whole business of choking out and kicking Rihanna’s ass behind him, Chris Brown thinks his upcoming album will be a masterpiece and people around the world…

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Angelina Jolie is Hospitalized By todd May 29, 2009

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Angelina Jolie was rushed to the hospital today after she injured her head performing a stunt on the set of Salt. TMZ reports:

Her manager tells us she was doing a stunt when the incident occurred. He says she is completely fine. We just got a statement from the film’s production company: “This morning while filming an action sequence… Angelina Jolie sustained a minor injury. As a precautionary measure, Ms. Jolie will be taken to the hospital and examined. Production on the film has resumed.”

Angelina Jolie plays a CIA operative in this movie, but what is she fighting bears? She didn’t get hurt in Tomb Raider or Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but now she might have a head injury? What the hell kinda movie is this? I really hope she doesn’t die. Not that I would be sad or anything, but I imagine sneaking into a morgue with wine and a mix tape would be somewhat difficult.

Angelina Jolie was rushed to the hospital today after she injured her head performing a stunt on the set of Salt. TMZ reports: Her manager tells us she was doing…

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Links Hot Like Britney’s Body Double By todd May 29, 2009



Britney Spears body double signs with WWE. I was expecting Grimace. [CraveOnline]

Emily Scott is Australia’s sexiest woman [Egotastic]

Playboy is desperate for money [Drunken Stepfather]

Scarlett Johansson’s boobs pose for Mango [Hollywood Tuna]

Jon Gosselin can’t let media scrutiny keep him from banging other chicks [Fatback Media]

Kristin Cavallari has a shirt. Look down it. [Taxidriver Movie]

The greatest picture in the history of the world. [College Humor]

Britney Spears body double signs with WWE. I was expecting Grimace. [CraveOnline] Emily Scott is Australia’s sexiest woman [Egotastic] Playboy is desperate for money [Drunken Stepfather] Scarlett Johansson’s boobs pose…

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That’s a Nice Lawnmower, Britney By todd May 29, 2009

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Britney was in California yesterday on the set of her video of a song I’ll never listen to, and of course she’s standing in front of a riding lawnmower and not wearing a bra. No other pictures have been released yet, but you can go ahead and assume they’ll include jugs with X’s on them and a bear in overalls playing the banjo.

Britney was in California yesterday on the set of her video of a song I’ll never listen to, and of course she’s standing in front of a riding lawnmower and…

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Katie Price is a Model By todd May 29, 2009

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In her first public appearance since she announced she was divorcing her husband Peter Andre, Katie Price took part in a fashion yesterday to promote her clothing line. Um, maybe she should have stayed home. The Daily Mail reports:

The glamour model made her catwalk debut in a white bikini at the Clothes Show Live at London’s ExCel Centre – her first public appearance since the couple’s announcement on May 11. While the mother-of-three declined to discuss her personal life, fans were stunned by her concave stomach and visible rib-cage as she strutted down the catwalk. The model has regularly attracted headlines over the last year with her skinny figure, but it appears she has lost even more weight since the split. Her estranged husband Peter admitted this week he had lost a stone in weight since their relationship broke down.

Eh, she looks the same to me. Maybe because I couldn’t give a shit. I’m just glad she didn’t have to go topless, because her boobs look like they just fought a wolverine. I don’t know what criteria they use to select chicks for a catwalk, because I can assume having a plastic surgeons with hooks for hands may drop you down a few spots on the list.

In her first public appearance since she announced she was divorcing her husband Peter Andre, Katie Price took part in a fashion yesterday to promote her clothing line. Um, maybe…

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Keanu Reeves Might Have Four Adult Kids By todd May 29, 2009



The Star is reporting that a Canadian woman is suing actor Keanu Reeves for $150,000 per month child support (retroactive 21 years) and $3 million in spousal support (retroactive 3 years) for her four adult children, ages 20 to 25, that she claims are Reeve’s. Karen Sala, who says she has known Reeves since he was 7, also wants the actor(?) to submit to a paternity test.
Karen Sala, 46, who is acting as her own lawyer, filed notice on Monday in the Superior Court of Justice family branch. Legal papers were served on Reeves’ business manager in Los Angeles two days ago. The first court date for the case is July 6 in Barrie. “I’m pissed. I just want him to stand up and be a man,” Sala said in an interview yesterday. A spokesperson for the actor said Reeves denies even knowing Sala and strongly rejects her claims. None of the allegations have been proven in court. Sala said she has tried “privately” over the years to persuade Reeves to provide support….”Karen Sala’s allegations are completely false and absurd. Mr. Reeves has no knowledge of who she is,” Cheryl Maisel said in a statement. Paul Knell, Reeves’ Los Angeles business manager, questioned Sala’s motives, noting that all four children are now adults. “Before you disparage my client and lend validity to this, there’s clearly something wrong with someone who claims child support after all the kids have grown. I’m just pointing that out,” Knell said. Knell said his client will undoubtedly become a target of tabloid speculation as a result of Sala’s suit. “He (Reeves) is a high-profile person in Hollywood so people come out of the woodwork. I’ll leave it at that,” Knell said.

So, to recap, this chick waited 25 years to break this news, now she wants $10.8 million. Awesome. That’s why I don’t even bother with stuff like this. Whenever I get a girl pregnant I just move out of town and change my name. I mean, I have at least a good 3 years before the kid starts asking questions. That’s usually a pretty good head start.

The Star is reporting that a Canadian woman is suing actor Keanu Reeves for $150,000 per month child support (retroactive 21 years) and $3 million in spousal support (retroactive 3…

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Sophia Bush is Like a Baby Panda By todd May 29, 2009

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My penis and I were talking about it and we think that Sophia Bush isn’t really as famous as she should be. She’s freakin adorable, a passable actress, and she’s socially conscious without being a clueless sanctimonious idiot like the majority of Hollywood. Just look at her in this dress. Unless I see a koala feeding a kitten a bottle or baby ducks sitting on a cloud, she might be the cutest thing I see all day.

My penis and I were talking about it and we think that Sophia Bush isn’t really as famous as she should be. She’s freakin adorable, a passable actress, and she’s…

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Tori Spelling is a Murderer By todd May 29, 2009

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Candy Spelling, the wife of deceased mega-producer, Aaron Spelling, went on a Massachusetts radio station yesterday to promote her new book. Not only did she pour more gas on her long feud with her estranged daughter, Tori, she also dropped in a plutonium core and a box of dynamite. E! News reports:

“My daughter one day decided that she wasn’t speaking to my husband, myself and my son, and that’s how it’s continued for the last, oh gosh, four or five years,” Candy said to 94.7 WMAS-FM’s Kellogg Krew. “And it was sad, that’s what killed my husband, actually. He just didn’t want to live after that. He [had] just done everything he could possibly do for his daughter, and she wanted no part of him once he couldn’t do anything for her.”

Just so we’re clear, at the time of his death, Aaron Spelling was worth $500 million. All of which went to Candy with the assumption the she would distribute his children’s inheritance fairly. Tori got $800,000. Man, I wonder what the problem with their relationship could be? I don’t know if you’re picking up on this right now, but I’m doing that thing where you put your hands on the back of your head and walk around room, because there doesn’t seem to be anyone who can figure out this great mystery.

Candy Spelling, the wife of deceased mega-producer, Aaron Spelling, went on a Massachusetts radio station yesterday to promote her new book. Not only did she pour more gas on her…

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