The Lohans Are On Top of The World

Lindsay Lohan has been dropping weight like an amputee lately, and for some reason, people think it’s not due to proper diet and exercise. Gee, I wonder what it could be? People reports:

Lindsay Lohan’s svelte figure is not the result of healthy eating and exercise, but instead due to her downing Red Bull, smoking cigarettes and eating candy, comes a new report claiming the actress, 22, is on a liquid diet that consists of drinking at least three Red Bull energy drinks a day. But Lohan’s rep is slamming such rumors, telling PEOPLE exclusively: “Lindsay has always enjoyed a Red Bull, but she eats. Everybody needs to mind their own business and stop worrying about what Lindsay eats or doesn’t eat.”

Of course Lindsay will get through this, because her mom, Dina Lohan, isn’t enabling at all. She’s a tough but fair matriarch who always puts discipline and wisdom at the forefront of her child’s lives. Oh, wait.

When a 46-year-old mom wants to take her daughters out for a special night, a Hollywood nightclub might seem a curious choice. Not so for Dina Lohan, who took Lindsay, 22, and Ali, 15, to Villa on March 25,..”Do you know who I am?” Dina protested when they were turned away at the door because of Ali’s age. “You’re making a huge mistake. Huge!” Lindsay added.

Lindsay and Ali have a 12 year old brother, Cody, so we don’t have that much time. Somebody needs to hurry up and parachute him into a island prison colony or throw him in a bear cave, because anything would be better than being raised by this insane bitch.

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