It’s Lindsay’s TurnBy toddApril 28, 2009

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Ali Lohan got a bunch of pictures taken of her without Lindsay in them, so you know damn well Lindsay wasn’t going to stand for that. So, here’s her bony, pale ass on some rocks. Can’t there be any bears in Hawaii to eat this skank? Somebody should look into that, because based on what I see on TV, bears can be park rangers or live in clouds and slide down rainbows. I’m not sure why we can’t get a few in Hawaii for a few days.

Ali Lohan got a bunch of pictures taken of her without Lindsay in them, so you know damn well Lindsay wasn’t going to stand for that. So, here’s her bony,…

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This Can’t Be LegalBy toddApril 28, 2009

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I’m pretty sure these pictures violate some section of Megan’s Law, but here’s Ali Lohan on vacation in Hawaii with her big(?) sister Lindsay. On vacation from what, I’m not exactly sure. Maybe brushing her hair in the mirror or texting in the mall gets tiring. Unlike when my penis enters talent shows. To be honest, I do make it look easy.

Photo credit: Splash

I’m pretty sure these pictures violate some section of Megan’s Law, but here’s Ali Lohan on vacation in Hawaii with her big(?) sister Lindsay. On vacation from what, I’m not…

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My Tampon String is Hanging Out!By toddApril 28, 2009


We can all just go ahead and agree that Britney Spears is a functioning retard, so of course, even with a Spartan army of handlers backstage, her tampon string was hanging out at her show in Anaheim last week. She’s been on tour for less than two months and she’s already done this, this, and this. Boy, I can’t well until next week when she skins a possum and washes her clothes by a creek or whatever the hell else hillbillies do. I swear, if success was based on actual talent, this daffy bitch would be on the back of a flatbed truck with a microphone taped to a broom handle and a bear in overalls and a straw hat blowing into a jug with X’s on it.

We can all just go ahead and agree that Britney Spears is a functioning retard, so of course, even with a Spartan army of handlers backstage, her tampon string was…

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Links Jesus Would Click If He Wasn’t Strung Up Again On Florida Vanity PlatesBy daveApril 28, 2009

Florida has approved the above license plate, which means Jesus and your I HRT VAG vanity plate can finally become one. [BWE]

It only took, what, 3 days for someone to ask Paris Hilton about the Swine Flu? [FatBackMedia]

Former Spice Girl Mel B has a rockin’ bikini bod. Too bad if I want to be her lover, I gotta get with her friends, because her friends are idiots and ugly. Or crazy like Eddie Murphy. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

French actress Christine Boisson had to know that dress was see-through. Damn French. Site NSFW [TaxiDriverMovie]

They almost arrested Lady GaGa in Russia for not wearing pants. Damn Communists and thier skorts. F*ck off. [ImNotObsessed]

LC leaving the Spiedi Wedding now makes more sense, The Hills is (more…)

Florida has approved the above license plate, which means Jesus and your I HRT VAG vanity plate can finally become one. [BWE] It only took, what, 3 days for someone…

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Megan Fox Is Rocking This CorsetBy daveApril 27, 2009
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Unexpected weekday/movie-related post? You bet!

Remember the last time I showed you some photos from Megan Fox on the Jonah Hex set and she was wearing a bathrobe and some cool boots?

Well, this is what she was wearing under it.

There’s not a lot I can say other than that waist is unbelievable. Let her finish the movie, then get her some pizza or something.

I’ll shut up now and let you peep the hotness.

Unexpected weekday/movie-related post? You bet! Remember the last time I showed you some photos from Megan Fox on the Jonah Hex set and she was wearing a bathrobe and some…

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Lindsay Lohan is StagedBy toddApril 27, 2009

I’m not sure if paparazzi sleep in their vans in Maui waiting for celebrities in bikinis, but lucky for them, Lindsay Lohan showed up. Or unlucky for them. Mostly because she’s a pale, freckled mess with no ass and tits that look like they’re trying to go metal detecting. I have no idea what I just said there, but hopefully

http://forum.phun.org/showthread.php?t=367241

I’m not sure if paparazzi sleep in their vans in Maui waiting for celebrities in bikinis, but lucky for them, Lindsay Lohan showed up. Or unlucky for them. Mostly because…

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This is Going Straight to DVDBy toddApril 27, 2009

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Let’s not kid ourselves into believing that Jessica Biel has ever been any sort actress. She’s hot and hot chicks get to do cool things like launch a 1,000 ships and star in movies. Sometimes they’re on DVD. Page Six reports:

JESSICA Biel — one of the sexiest, most beautiful women in the world — has had bad luck with her latest movies, and hasn’t been seen on the big screen since “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” two years ago. Not even scenes of Biel dancing topless as a stripper in “Powder” — co-starring Ray Liotta, Kris Kristofferson, Forest Whitaker and Lisa Kudrow — could get the somber drama a theatrical release. “Powder” is going straight to DVD in June.

This manages to be simultaneously depressing and laughingly embarrassing, so hopefully Jessica wastes no time sinking into a spiral of doubt and despair. She’s gonna cry when I stick it in her ass anyway, so I’d rather her be crying already so it doesn’t get all weird.

You can see the NSFW screencaps of Biel in Powder Blue here, or you can click on the only pictures I post when the words “Jessica Biel” and “ass” are mentioned:

Let’s not kid ourselves into believing that Jessica Biel has ever been any sort actress. She’s hot and hot chicks get to do cool things like launch a 1,000 ships…

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J. NoBy toddApril 27, 2009

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Who the hell knows why Kim Kardashian tried to dye her hair blonde this weekend. Just like I’m not sure why Asian chicks do it. Seriously, am I supposed to be fooled? You’re Asian, did your mom get raped by an elf or something, because your hair looks like kinda weird, man. Have you ever seen antlers on a bunny rabbit? Yeah, your hair looks kinda like that. I know that you’re hoping that I mean your hair looks fantastic and inimitable, but please realize I mean you look fucking ridiculous.

Who the hell knows why Kim Kardashian tried to dye her hair blonde this weekend. Just like I’m not sure why Asian chicks do it. Seriously, am I supposed to…

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Octomom Was a Stripper Named AngelinaBy toddApril 27, 2009

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You might be surprised to learn that a single woman with no source of income or permanent place of residence would have octuplets with the help medical technology, even though she had six already, would be desperate for attention, but be prepared to have your mind blown! She does! Just like she did in her last job!

An exotic dancer going by the name of Sage tells In Touch that she performed with Nadya at amateur stripping contests and bachelor parties between 1999 and 2000. “I met her at an amateur contest, and we wound up doing parties together,” she explains. Limo driver Luis Ceballos also claims to have enountered Nadya during her stripping days. Rather than being shy and ashamed about her job as she has said, he reckons Nadya “always said she wanted to be really famous” and was “overly flirty with the guys we performed for.”

The seething hatred I have for this selfish, delusional lunatic can only be matched by the thought of seeing this hag on stage in Lucite heels and a baby doll dress. That banner picture looks like something that should be pulled out of that whale in Pinocchio, not asking me to go to a private room. I’m not even joking when I say I’d rather get a lap dance from a bear trap.

Why pictures of Angelina Jolie being slutty instead of Octomom? Dude. I hope you didn’t just say that out loud:

You might be surprised to learn that a single woman with no source of income or permanent place of residence would have octuplets with the help medical technology, even though…

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Audrina Patridge Is A Crappy Actress Even With Links And BikiniBy daveApril 27, 2009

This clip of horrid Audrina is from Into The Blue 2, which I will now not watch. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Either my memory really sucks, or Meg Ryan‘s face has been cut off and put back on totally wrong. [LaineyGossip]

Want some Abbey Clancy nipple slip pics? I bet you do! [Egotastic]

Jennifer Aniston is still in NYC hanging off of Jason Bateman. For the Baster. Though she might also be stalking John Mayer. [ICYDK]

Two Britain’s Got Talent related NSFW pics. Ulrika Jonsson’s boob job exposed and…shudder…Susan Boyle’s hard nipples. NSFW…or Life. [TaxiDriverMovie]

Awwww, the two kids from Slumdog Millionaire are dating in real life. Next stop: teenage pregnancy. [JustJared]

Emma Watson wants to be nerd just like me! And (more…)

This clip of horrid Audrina is from Into The Blue 2, which I will now not watch. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather] Either my memory really sucks, or Meg Ryan‘s face has…

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