John Mayer does something called the Mayercraft Cruise and though I was groaning and bitching about how I didn’t care, I did delve deep into the official site to look for a description of the event, because if I didn’t this would be a post full of penis/John-Mayer-Is-Lame jokes:
Get ready for the best four days and four nights of your life. The original Mayercraft Carrier marked the start of something special: incredible performances (and unique choices of outfits), lasting friendships, and stories that seem too good to be true. John had such a great time onboard last year that he’s doing it all over again. Get ready for the Mayercraft Carrier 2: Even Craftier!
We’ll be shipping off the West Coast, leaving from Los Angeles (Port of San Pedro), CA on March 27th, 2009 and returning March 31st. In between the two days at sea filled with non-stop music, contests, parties, theme nights, good times, John Mayer (of course), O.A.R., Guster, and many more artists – we’ll be dropping anchor for a full day in beautiful Cabo San Lucas, Mexico! You’d be crazy to miss out on all of this craftiness.
As the rest of us stay sane back on land, somewhere a boat piloted by John Mayer is floating around the sea, keeping all those crazy enough to get on a boat with John Mayer just to see O.A.R away from the general population.
If the people on that boat are the kind of people who toss their man-kini bottoms on the stage, then Mayer owes them the common courtesy of taking a face full of used-crotch smell.
It all just seems like craziness to me. If I wanted someone to smell my dick, I’m pretty sure I could hit Paris Hilton straight in the face with my dirty underwear from 20 feet away.