First 5 Minutes of Watchmen

Of course, Watchmen was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend, taking in $55 million on Friday and Saturday, so sorry if that offends anyone. I know that semester of film school mommy and daddy paid for until you flunked out and entered the exciting career of making designs in my coffee made you have exacting tastes in movies, but nobody cares if you stamp your feet and throw your scarf over your shoulder and refuse to see it. Hopefully, Netflix will have that one black and white movie about the improbable love of an amputee Nazi and her gay dyslexic housekeeper. You know, or whatever boring shit you watch because you think the chick behind the counter at Barnes & Noble you asked out will let you touch her bra because she thinks you’re cool.

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