Jessica Simpson Won’t Be Long Now



Jessica Simpson’s free fall into obscurity and having sex in vans to get a film credit is coming along nicely. Last night, after Tony Romo failed to show up to her concert at Van Andel Arena in Grand rapids, Michigan, Simpson had a complete meltdown. Going Gonzo reports:
“I’m so excited, I get to see my boyfriend tomorrow,” she said shortly after opening her set with a cover of “These Boots are Made for Walking.” Introducing her song “You’re My Sunday,” which she wrote for the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, she said. “He’s the person who makes me relax.”

*SPOILER ALERT!!*:

But there was nothing relaxing about her 38-minute set. While singing the ballad “With You,” she paused during the middle of the song to take a drink of water while her backup singers took over the lead vocals. After the song, she seemed a little embarrassed and said it’s difficult to be on stage and be so vulnerable. She continuously struggled with her ear monitors and often seemed to lose her place in several songs. She even had the band start over on the up-tempoed “Pray Out Loud.” But the show veered into the direction of a trainwreck toward the end of her opening slot for Rascal Flatts, completely forgetting the lyrics to her single “Come on Over” and asking for forgiveness from the audience by mouthing the word “sorry” on the two video screens. Things were so bad, while introducing her closing song “Do You Know,” she talked about how she felt like walking off the stage. At the end of the song, she thanked her band for “having her back.” And it looked as if she was wiping away tears as she walked off the stage.

Wow. Instead of going on stage every night, why doesn’t Jessica Simpon just get inside a barrel and ask somebody to roll her off a cliff? I mean, it’s not like it would even make the “Top 10 Bad Things That Have Happened to Jessica Simpson This Month” list. Seriously, I’m looking at it. Maybe #6. #4 tops.

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